Sick jokes

[embm]

I'm out of jokes...Someone cover me!

oh no

[mdemaz]

Why did the chicken cross the...Shit..

A father and baby polar bear were walking across the ice when the baby polar bear said to his dad
"Dad, am I part panda bear?"
"No", replied his dad. "Well then, am I part brown bear?" Again his dad said no.

A short time later the baby bear asked again,
"Dad, maybe I'm part koala bear?"
The father getting annoyed said, "look son, I'm a polar bear, your mums a polar bear.
Why on earth do you keep asking for?!"

"Because," the baby bear said, "I'm Bloody Freezing!."

[Raids-God]

Best Joke of all time







A Girl walks into a Bar ...


OUCH !

Sorry if its to Sick 4 ya

[Rash J]

That's cute

[Sam.]

i got some will post latter tonight .

[mdemaz]

Post them now?

[embm]

Why did the chicken cross the...Shit..

A father and baby polar bear were walking across the ice when the baby polar bear said to his dad
"Dad, am I part panda bear?"
"No", replied his dad. "Well then, am I part brown bear?" Again his dad said no.

A short time later the baby bear asked again,
"Dad, maybe I'm part koala bear?"
The father getting annoyed said, "look son, I'm a polar bear, your mums a polar bear.
Why on earth do you keep asking for?!"

"Because," the baby bear said, "I'm Bloody Freezing!."

yea u got ur mojo bak

luv it its cute

plz do mo animal jokes
ty

[mdemaz]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

KEN STARR:
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes!
The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed,
I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE:
It is in the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

[Rash J]

^ Lol at the last one

[Fleka]

You can say whatever you want about pedophiles, but they at least slow down while driving by school.

Good fairy granted me two wishes. I couldn`t do it the third time.

Doctor: You are sick.
Patient: I know, I`ve been fucking my sister.

[Sam.]

There was a white Superman, and black Superman and a Chinese Superman on top of a skyscraper. They was all having a contest to see who had the longest dick...

The White Superman pulls down his tights and BLUM BLUM BLUM, his cock unrolls down the side of the building and across the street.

The Black Superman says "That’s shit, watch this" and pulls down his tights . BLUM BLUM BLUM BLUM CRASH!!! his cock unrolls down the side of the building, across the street and up the next building, then smashes through a window.

Now, the White Superman and the Black Superman are looking at the Chinese Superman who by this time is laughing his ass off! So, the black and white superman say; "Whats so funny? Show your cock!" So the Chinese Superman pulls out his dick and its 3 inches long, but he’s still laughing... puzzled, the Black and White Supermen say "What the FUCK is SOOO FUNNY?!" and the Chinese Superman says "There is steamroller coming down street!"

[Bistnal]

lmao this thread is still golden.

[embm]

thos were gr8

[mdemaz]

This little boy goes up to his dad and he says "Dad?, What's the difference between Potentially and Realistically?" To which the father replies "Well son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then you ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars." So the boy goes up to his mom and asks her if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies "Oh my god, of course I would, he is so good looking!" So the boy moves on and asks his sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and she replies "He is so fucking fine, of course I would!" Then last but no least he goes up to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars, his brother says "Of course I would, who wouldn't for a million bucks?" So he goes up to his dad and says "I think I learned the difference between potentially and realistically" "Well what's the difference?" says the father. "Well, potentially we're sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"

[mdemaz]

"Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" a little girl asked. "No, I don't think so. Fifi is in heat," replied the mother. "What does that mean?" asked the child. Embarrassed and not wanting to get into a biological discussion with her young daughter, the Mother said, "Oh, just go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Fifi for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Fifi was in heat, and that I had to come talk to you." Not wanting to have the biological discussion either, the father said, "Bring Fifi over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it. "Okay, now you can go for a walk but keep Fifi on the leash and you can only go around the block once."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash. "Where is Fifi?" her father asked. "She should be here in a minute," advised the daughter. "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."