A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him. The barber says, “Father, you’re a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn’t charge you, it’s on the house.” The priest says, “Thank you very much” and leaves.
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.
A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, “No money, please, you’re a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it’s on the house.”
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, “No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can’t take any money from you, go in peace.”
And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.
A new sailor was on his first long cruise. After two months on the ship, he went to one of the old salts and asked, “What do you do for sexual pleasure on these long cruises?” The old salt answered, “Well, in the bow of the boat is a barrel. In the side of the barrel is a hole, and you just stick it in the hole, and have fun.”
Later that night, after it was dark, the new man went to the bow of the boat. Looking around and seeing no-one else, he unzipped, and stuck it in. Wow, tight and warm, very pleasurable. Every night for the next two months, the new guy went to the barrel.
One day, two big, burly seaman came to him, grabbed him by the arms, and started dragging him off. Terrified, he asked where they were taking him.
“Relax” they told him, “it’s your turn in the barrel.”
