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umm..well here goes

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umm..well here goes

Postby rory » Apr 27th, '06, 20:19

she looks up at the mirror and behold a stranger
two icy blue eyes scream nothing but danger
she is trapped with no way out
she screams into the night but yet people doubt
she wanted to be loved but this is what she got instead
a feeling of emptiness and wishing if she were dead
she gazes down and watches as the blood flows from her slit wrists
why God?why me?she asks as she clenches her fists
she is mourning what she had called her life
she breaks down and all she could utter is "i remember"
all the times she lay awake on those cold nights in december
waiting for one phone call,hoping and praying and wishing
all the times she had screamed inside for all the life she was missing
all the times when her friends stabbed her in the back,betrayed and lied to her
all the times she stepped into church asking the maker Himself why life wasn't fair
all the times she cried tears of blood and yet here she was drenched in despair
all the times she wondered why does no one care?
maybe it was her and the mistakes she had made
but why her?all she ever wanted was to love and be loved back
yet everybody judged her and looked at her as if she was nothing for all the things she lacked
she wished she could muster a smile but that seemed long forgotten as she lies waiting for death to take its natural course
as she lies on the floor,taking in her last breaths,listening to her final heartbeats once more
all she could see,all she could hear was her inner voice telling her it's over,it's ok...it's over,it's ok as she lies alone on the cold floor

please be nice lol,i just thought i'd share something with u guys and get ur input...this is something that i wrote right now so i hope u like it,it's not one of my best :shifty:
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Postby Ivy » Apr 27th, '06, 20:29

:'( I related to a lot of what you said in that poem. That was so emotional and sweet, and really a moving piece. If this wasn't your best work, then I'd like to see some more of your "best" work! :flutter:
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"My life your entertainment, you watch it while I live it. I walk they folla (ay), I talk they holla (ay), just here for your amusement. My life your entertainment. you watch it while I live it. You waitin' for me to lose it, I guess I'm just here for your amusement..." ~ T.I. feat. Usher "My Life Your Entertainment"
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Postby rory » Apr 27th, '06, 20:30

TaylorakaTiGGi wrote::'( I related to a lot of what you said in that poem. That was so emotional and sweet, and really a moving piece. If this wasn't your best work, then I'd like to see some more of your "best" work! :flutter:

thx so much,this really motivates me to write more cos i love writing!thanks for the feedback :flower:
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Postby rory » Apr 27th, '06, 20:45

memyselforwho wrote:very very nice rory, i like it alot :flower:

awww thanks for that :happy:
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Postby Inzanity » Apr 28th, '06, 02:10

dam I felt that I totally related to that really really good job that was some deep shit
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Postby Infliction » Apr 28th, '06, 14:03

not my favorite type of ryme, but it was good, keep it up :wave:
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Postby rory » Apr 28th, '06, 14:16

thx guys for the great feedback,i appreciate it! :happy:
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Postby MuNxMuN » Apr 28th, '06, 14:21

this got emotional for me to read when you mentioned slit writsts :'( great job rory can't want to see more of your work :flower:
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