Through the Looking Glass (feat. B.Nutz & Mr. DGAF)

[Man1x]

Manîx Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=128318&p=1771467#p1771467
Mr. DGAF Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=128318
B.Nutz Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=127786

[Verse 1 - Mr. DGAF]

As I sit and reminisce, filled with bliss, on my early days
I remember this, mom was pissed, and my world was grey
December was the shit, will be missed, but its gone they say
I would think of it, shit I’d wish, that I’d grow to save
The woman of my dreams, and be a super human being
But things ain’t what they would seem, though at night I’d pray n’ scheme
I would hope to play for teams, be a star and fade slowly
See a car, and pay 4 g’s, now it’s mine, I’d play it low key
Like a god, but it won’t be easy, nah, though I’m hoping—
The alarm rings and I sigh, because the car just isn’t mine
It was all just in my mind, what I’d thought of at the time
As a kid, wasting dimes, making rhymes, faking crimes
Now I’m older and I’ve folded, nowhere close to being loaded
‘Stead I’m bloated, hopes of going anywhere have been demoted
High School yearbook, when they sold it, quoted me saying “I’m golden”
Must’ve just simply misquoted, what I said was “Help I’m broken!”
Left to smolder in the fires with the liars of the past
Because hopes of being someone ended up dying fas

[Hook - Manîx]

I search for a path to my past/
Can't find it in the looking glass/
Can't find it in this flask/
Nothing can bring me back/
I'm becoming consumed in the looking glass/
I'm becoming consumed in the drinking flask/
Save me from this fast/
Trapped in the looking glass/

[Verse 2 - Manîx]

I look into a face not my own/
My own sin chewed, crazed face's wrought in stone/
I fought for gold but I shake, dropped in cold/
I stop mid-show, the evil was cropping below/
Now I stand at fear's door as I look in the mirror/
I shake in place as my sin comes nearer/
Clearly shunned here and bear this burning hate/
And I turn to gray, no cure for pain/
You'd blame my pen for the scorn/
I'd still be losing my friends in this morgue/
I'm choosing my end in this world/
I'm sure few would come send a word and mourn/
We are cursed to learn pain at an early age/
Now, that's why I'm at stand still and caged/
Watch me take my life in a blaze, cause….

[Hook - Manîx]

I search for a path to my past/
Can't find it in the looking glass/
Can't find it in this flask/
Nothing can bring me back/
I'm becoming consumed in the looking glass/
I'm becoming consumed in the drinking flask/
Save me from this fast/
Trapped in the looking glass/

[Verse 3 - B.Nutz]

Who's the dick In the image, in my head,
I try to pillage, but I die instead.
I try to stop, What I've become,
But I look through the shattered, and realize I'm done
Call me a game, I'm lucky, my lifes an Expansion pack,
Fuck sane, Hunny, I wish I had some Fans to grasp,
Now I'm looking at , the Man who had,
Everything, lost it, He didn't Plan to brag,
But he did, too late to apologize,
Opened the lid, Shut down his eyes,
He's starts to cry, Looking back on his life,
Shouldn't had the sorrow, He should've had the fight!
Should've grabbed the knife and ended it then,
Should not have amended with this backstabbing hen,
Now he's sitting thoroughly looking back on his life,
Snap and he cries, Wrapping the knife,
On his throat and slit...
His end? he done wrote the shit.

[Hook - Manîx]

I search for a path to my past/
Can't find it in the looking glass/
Can't find it in this flask/
Nothing can bring me back/
I'm becoming consumed in the looking glass/
I'm becoming consumed in the drinking flask/
Save me from this fast/
Trapped in the looking glass/

[Man1x]

I got eaten alive on this one....I'm getting writers block cause I can't think of a rhyme worth a shit. I had to go to previous rhymes I made and pick them out of my book and formed my piece of shit verse.

[Man1x]

Overall, a good piece - enjoyable

I'd say DGAF had the better of this track - maybe cuz he had more lines, but regardless, he was able to really convey pain in this verse (again). Very good shit homie, I'm liking all your drops

Manix, your verse wasn't bad my any means homie, so the fact you had to force yourself to write through a block (which sucks, I hate the feeling) makes it better I'd say that it got a bit weaker at the end, but the first three quarters of it were very good Just keep practicing, find new words to rhyme to help the writer's block fade - that's what I always do.

Nutz, I liked your verse too...kinda reminded me of Captain Kirk talking cuz of the jerky pauses (well, the way I interpreted it) and whatnot, but that helped convey an uneasy mind (which clearly is depicted in the end of your verse..in a good way lol). Your rhyming and flow has gotten better but there is still room for improvement - and I know you're practicing so keep it up man!

Overall, good heartfelt track it seems, but I wanna see some uplifting shit from you motherfuckers lol Even some psychotic crazy shit, spice things up - I may have just been "unlucky" to read a few 'sad' pieces today, I dunno, but whatever. Good stuff guys!

Thanks Menzo but I'm still in the block. Those are all recycled rhymes from no where and the only reason I never used them was because I didn't like them in the first place. I had a different verse for this though but I kept it cause it got good only at the expensive of divulging into a completely different topic.

[Mr.DGAF]

Overall, a good piece - enjoyable

I'd say DGAF had the better of this track - maybe cuz he had more lines, but regardless, he was able to really convey pain in this verse (again). Very good shit homie, I'm liking all your drops

Manix, your verse wasn't bad my any means homie, so the fact you had to force yourself to write through a block (which sucks, I hate the feeling) makes it better I'd say that it got a bit weaker at the end, but the first three quarters of it were very good Just keep practicing, find new words to rhyme to help the writer's block fade - that's what I always do.

Nutz, I liked your verse too...kinda reminded me of Captain Kirk talking cuz of the jerky pauses (well, the way I interpreted it) and whatnot, but that helped convey an uneasy mind (which clearly is depicted in the end of your verse..in a good way lol). Your rhyming and flow has gotten better but there is still room for improvement - and I know you're practicing so keep it up man!

Overall, good heartfelt track it seems, but I wanna see some uplifting shit from you motherfuckers lol Even some psychotic crazy shit, spice things up - I may have just been "unlucky" to read a few 'sad' pieces today, I dunno, but whatever. Good stuff guys!

Thanks Menzo. And yeah, I'm going to start broadening my subject matter. Actually, should be dropping a newer piece today.

[SG.]

Mr DGAF - Difficult to pick up the flow at first, but it was a brilliant verse.
Manix - This is good for a verse you mangled together, but you can tell that it's not good... as an actual verse. Sorry. Some of your ends either didn't rhyme or were accent rhymes.
B Nutz - Your structure's really weird at the start, but this is still a dope verse.

Mr. DGAF outshone both of you.

Feed back? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=128708

[J.R.]

Thanks Menzo. No rough feelings over what happened?

Thanks also Zabe.

[Spyder]

overall pretty dope piece, i liked the rhyming on this.
pretty common idea for a track but i like the spin on it.

you all came even IMO not a specific winner in this collab, nice job.

keep improving