Geno - Fall

[Sam.]

Rhyming and the flow was all over the place,which is great.IDK what more to say .. apart form the regular praise.The only thing that bugged me was the content,indeed it was new at the same time it wasn't that appealing.... IDK (lol) why ??

[Man1x]

Amazing bro, you really need to start recording, no critism. Some parts reminded me of Kill You, maybe cause i was listening to that song but whatever

Edit: opps nevermind, I played the beat with it, I was wrong haha

[Trimss]

Yep, your lyrics suit perfectly that dark beat. I like this piece, only thing I really noticed is a little redundance but maybe it was done on purpose? Anyway that's the only "less" good thing I noticed.

Now defenseless..what's your plan now?

Even if overall everything was great, a part stood out for me.

And what a sight to see, as we crumble past repair,
Stumble, crash impaired, and fumble passion's flare,

This sounds beautiful when I say it, good flow and good rhyming.

Great Geno.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5WAPVR6nVo
Feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133116

How come you don't feel me?..
Don't you need me?..
Don't you even see me a human being?
I bet you'd wanna be me if you knew the real thing,
But hatred is increasing.. and I'm tempted,
To just end this sentence - knock down all the fences,
Throw up the middle finger and tell y'all to, "Suspend this!",
You're defenseless..what's your plan now?
Would you attack or tell your men to stand down?
But if you can't ground me, then all your fans' out!
I guess it didn't pan out and this is how it ends,
This is the result of mixing power with your friends,
It's all scowls and pretend, for hours on end,
But I found it's odd when they turn on you to benefit,
I bet seventy percent of them just enter with intent of it,
I guess it's all irrelevant, I said it for the hell of it.
Hey waiter, can I get a check? I'm this room's elephant.

[Chorus]
When the stars begin to fall,
And you're fallin' through withdrawal,
Who's the God that you will call?
Who's the mom who'll help you crawl,
When you can't even walk yet,
Lookin' like a lost pet,
It's nonsense, what's wrong next?
Who's gon' help us stop it?
x2

I put my life on the line when I confided with society,
I never thought there'd be someone to finally show pride in me,
And what a sight to see, as we crumble past repair,
Stumble, crash impaired, and fumble passion's flare,
Somethin' happened there that is brutally unstable,
Grown to be a fool, they're straight ruthless from the cradle,
...What else can I say though? I'm rusted head to toe,
It's just the way we're lead astray that flusters me the most,
And when I show my face they think I must've seen a ghost,
So fuck it, there's no hope, you're lucky if you know,
So here's a way to cope, let's muster up a toast,
Go on and raise your glass for all the love that's in our souls,
And yeah I know..we might just have a chance,
As I write this I'll take stand to put a fight in every man,
So go with tightened hands and join forces with the rest,
Or else phoniness is stressed, you know it's for the best.

[Chorus]

Well done! Did you do a slow-ish tempo to this? That's what I did for my piece, so I flowed really well to this. Love the concept, and like I already know you will, get a mic. :P Don't worry though, I'm getting one too.

[BumShiv]

Holy shit You fuckin merked that I don't have any criticism so Only thing I'm mad about is that you don't record your shit Anyway amazing shit bro. My favorites lines are

And what a sight to see, as we crumble past repair,
Stumble, crash impaired, and fumble passion's flare

So fuck it, there's no hope, you're lucky if you know,
So here's a way to cope, let's muster up a toast,
Go on and raise your glass for all the love that's in our souls

Fucking Awesome. Mind feeding my beat when you got time?

viewtopic.php?f=69&t=133105

[SG.]

You know what, this is great. The only thing I felt was weird was that the content was kinda... boring? I dunno why, I just felt that way. Otherwise, great piece.

[Jdubem]

Good shit. The last 6 bars of the first verse were my favorite part and liked the hook too.

[Words]

I can't criticize this flow, it was spot on. Structure was too perfect for me to tell you, you should do something differently. Your rhymes were also on point, good multi use. Really liked the piece. I liked the first first more then the second, I don't know why. Neither verse was lacking by any means, I felt that the first verse was just a little better for some reason. Good piece

[Emadyville]

I enjoyed the overall concept while it was still sorta all over the place...if that makes sense Anyway that's what made it good. I liked how you didn't go nuts with rhymes, but at the same time, had some very good multi's (the skill stood out when you continued the multi but not on the end rhyme) that didn't seem forced or outta place. The flow was sometimes hard to follow (or seemed slightly off) but with a written it's obviously usually read differently.

I liked what you did man it was good, as always...keep it up