Mr. DGAF ft. Geno - Eternal Nightmares

by **Mr.DGAF** » Oct 28th, '11, 15:20

Sixth track from the 'Attack of the Artists EP', by Mr.DGAF ft. Geno. Enjoy boys and girls.

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q91OrX6WIJ8
Mr.DGAF feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133116
Geno Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133116

[Intro - Mr.DGAF]
Yeah, it's this same dream man,
With the same scheme, damn
I'm feeling hopeless, why care?
I'll never get out of this nightmare

[Verse - Geno]

Wake up with a head wound, I think I'm gonna faint (woo),
The maid in my bedroom's amazed that I came to,
"For days you just laid in place, but I saved you!
They thought you were a waste of space, probably dead too!"
Ugh, what the hell'd you, do to me while I was out?
I feel a little rude but.. who let you in to my house?
"You don't need to boot me out, I'm here to protect you,
The injury you fell to was more than a head wound,
Here, let me tell you, see we're trapped inside a dream,
Even violent screams couldn't find a seam to try and leave,"
Wait a sec, am I asleep? Hold on, wait, I'm still confused,
It's like someone's trigger blew a fuse, and they sniffed the fumes,
"You don't have the slightest clue, now here is just what I can do,
I can give you vital tools to ease your pain and silence truth,"
I smiled as I took them, putting pens to the page,
As I write away the fate that I can never escape.

[Chorus - Geno]
You wake up shooken, but it was just a dream, yeah,
Your faith is tooken, aimless in the dream, yeah,
Escape? You're pushin', your luck in the dream, yeah,
Now nameless, footing is lost, in the dream, yeah.
x2

[Verse - Mr.DGAF]
Fleeing down a lonely hall while running from my biggest fear
Screaming now, I slowly crawl, it's stunning how he dissappears
He's getting near, I hear him breathing all along my inner psyche
Feeling weird, I fear my sleeping,knowing that he is here nightly
Just to spite me, I wish I could just escape this old abyss
It's hopelessness, I know it is, yet still I hate this broken shit
I loathe this bitch, every night I sleep and have the same nightmare
He creeps down a dank flight o' stairs, I try and go to hide somewhere
I cry in prayer, someone come and save me 'cause it never ends
Wake me please I need to leave before I let this devil win
A hellish sin, but soon enough I wake and clutch my sanity
I go to think while on the brink, what if he had his hand with me
Get back to bed, I scratch my head, and think about a clever cloak
The sack with dread, it grabs my leg, oh shit I think I never woke
It gets my throat and won't let go, I plead he leaves but he said no
I bleed and choke, he squeezes though, I see no hope, can't breathe no mo'

[Chorus - Geno]
You wake up shooken, but it was just a dream, yeah,
Your faith is tooken, aimless in the dream, yeah,
Escape? You're pushin', your luck in the dream, yeah,
Now nameless, footing is lost, in the dream, yeah.
x2

by **JamaicanPattlez** » Oct 28th, '11, 16:28

Dope track and dope beat! :worship:

Both of you guys did great, but I like Mr. DGAF's verse better on this, it was the flow I would use. However, both of you did equally well. :y:

Keep it up guys!

by **Words** » Oct 28th, '11, 16:41

Insanely good, I read w/o beat (Damn school internet blocking my youtube :angry:

) And it was still an excellent piece. It seemed to flow really well, and rhymes were exactly on point. Both of you did an excellent job with this topic..... mind = blown, good job :worship:

by **Sam.** » Oct 28th, '11, 22:29

Geno

Although I got the story that you were trying to tell ,but it felt that it had some pieces from the puzzle missing.What I mean is you should have added more bars to make it more appealing or I might say you could have extented the story.

Mr.DGAF

This guy takes the cake and come out exceptionally well.Liked the Imaginery man and was better than Geno's and sounded like a complete story.Keep at it.

by **Atone** » Oct 30th, '11, 21:56

the collabs are what is giving Creative Writing a boost, i really liked both verses here, it was hard for me to pick up on at first but once i listened to the beat i got more understanding to the flow, you guys did realy good with this

by **J.R.** » Oct 30th, '11, 22:19

I really liked this, but I kinda of like Geno's a bit more. MR.Dgaf went in hard to, no criticism really.

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133225 rtf

by **Spyder** » Nov 5th, '11, 00:12

tooken isnt a word, refrain from the stereo-typical mainstream rap make up your own words
to help the flow. you forced a multie just to rhyme the bar.

other than that good shit.

Geno make sure you rhyme in couplets. hinders the flow

by **RainMan44** » Nov 6th, '11, 18:34

Mr.DGAF wrote:Sixth track from the 'Attack of the Artists EP', by Mr.DGAF ft. Geno. Enjoy boys and girls.

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q91OrX6WIJ8
Mr.DGAF feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133116
Geno Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=133116

[Intro - Mr.DGAF]
Yeah, it's this same dream man,
With the same scheme, damn
I'm feeling hopeless, why care?
I'll never get out of this nightmare

[Verse - Geno]

Wake up with a head wound, I think I'm gonna faint (woo),
The maid in my bedroom's amazed that I came to,
"For days you just laid in place, but I saved you!
They thought you were a waste of space, probably dead too!"
Ugh, what the hell'd you, do to me while I was out?
I feel a little rude but.. who let you in to my house?
"You don't need to boot me out, I'm here to protect you,
The injury you fell to was more than a head wound,
Here, let me tell you, see we're trapped inside a dream,
Even violent screams couldn't find a seam to try and leave,"
Wait a sec, am I asleep? Hold on, wait, I'm still confused,
It's like someone's trigger blew a fuse, and they sniffed the fumes,
"You don't have the slightest clue, now here is just what I can do,
I can give you vital tools to ease your pain and silence truth,"
I smiled as I took them, putting pens to the page,
As I write away the fate that I can never escape.

[Chorus - Geno]
You wake up shooken, but it was just a dream, yeah,
Your faith is tooken, aimless in the dream, yeah,
Escape? You're pushin', your luck in the dream, yeah,
Now nameless, footing is lost, in the dream, yeah.
x2

[Verse - Mr.DGAF]
Fleeing down a lonely hall while running from my biggest fear
Screaming now, I slowly crawl, it's stunning how he dissappears
He's getting near, I hear him breathing all along my inner psyche
Feeling weird, I fear my sleeping,knowing that he is here nightly
Just to spite me, I wish I could just escape this old abyss
It's hopelessness, I know it is, yet still I hate this broken shit
It's so a bitch, every night I sleep and have the same nightmare
He creeps down a dank flight o' stairs, I try and go to hide somewhere
I cry in prayer, someone come and save me 'cause it never ends
Wake me please I need to leave before I let this devil win
A hellish sin, but soon enough I wake and clutch my sanity
I go to think while on the brink, what if he had his hand with me
Get back to bed, I scratch my head, and think about a clever cloak
The sack with dread, it grabs my leg, oh shit I think I never woke
It gets my throat and won't let go, I plead he leaves but he won't go
I bleed and choke, he squeezes though, I see no hope, can't breathe no mo'

[Chorus - Geno]
You wake up shooken, but it was just a dream, yeah,
Your faith is tooken, aimless in the dream, yeah,
Escape? You're pushin', your luck in the dream, yeah,
Now nameless, footing is lost, in the dream, yeah.
x2

@Geno, I think you started off kind of slow but flow and rhyming really picked up in a great way around here

"Here, let me tell you, see we're trapped inside a dream,
Even violent screams couldn't find a seam to try and leave,"
Wait a sec, am I asleep? Hold on, wait, I'm still confused,
It's like someone's trigger blew a fuse, and they sniffed the fumes."

Nice verse overall man :y:

@Mr.DGAF, HOLY SHIT! You murdered this. I loved your verse. The flow, the rhyming, the structure, the content, etc. Everything was spot on. I think this is the best verse I've read from you. Reading your early verses and then this, you've improved dramatically.

When I started, it took me at least 2 years to improve and start using multis, etc...and you did it within months, and now you're damn good at it. :worship:

I also spit this on the "Buffalo Bill" and "Psycho" beat, fits nice to them lol

Overall, very good piece guys :b: