Freeverse

[Sam.]

The Writer Block has hurt your writing real bad, there's a slip of consistency throughout the verse. Rhyming was off, Structure and what not? Pfft XD

Somehow I found the bars at the very start with some poor Rhyming;

Publish sick shit recognized by the coffin
In my rhymes, I install the illest lines that you'll cross
Life ends, tracks survive and when I die, still a boss
Still alive, in your soul, finna inspire you to go from there
And show em there how a legacy of an artist is completed
Errbody got a 2Pac and a Layne Staley in their spirits

Minus the Underlined lines the End Rhymes were weak, work on that.But the content that was contained in those lines were really good and well thought off, In fact the whole verse had similar lines(Clever One's). Those lines if polished perfectly would actually save this verse IMO, in short Re-Writing this is absolutely needed.

The YM Pun was good and was a highlight of the verse, I bet you can defeat YM with your WB.

You need to revise on the basic technicalities of writing once again, I know that you know about the Basics, but Study it again.

Best Of Luck.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Not gonna harp on you cause it's a freeverse to get ya out of writer's block, but the content was good. Now write some epic shit and explode.

[Mr.DGAF]

Haha, the YMPAUSE. I mean, I get the writer's block thing man, and that sucks. I had writer's block for about two months earlier, stopped dropping pieces, just kept on writing. The structure of this is kinda off, which isn't always a problem. But to be honest, this piece in general is not very good. I've seen you write some really sick stuff, actually, the nasty minded verse has inspired me to drop a similar piece here in the near future haha. But this was just eh. The end rhymes, like Sam said, were kind of bad. The internals were more impressive for me than the end rhymes.

But good luck getting out of that writer's block my dude. I haven't worked with you at all I think, so we need to collab when you get the chance, if you want.

Also, hate to be creeping around other people's pieces asking for feed, but that seems to be the only way now haha. Mind feeding? Heavy Hopes