New shit

[Wreck]

Link of Feed- viewtopic.php?f=24&t=134194&p=1813525#p1813525

I keep my middle finger up like i'm lookin for a taxi
I cook MCs on the mic, let's see what I stir up on this rap-sheet
I'm flyer then hot-air, if hip hop dies, do you think rock-cares?
an MC like Pac's-rare, I'm coked up like chalk-there, so many people on my block-stare
I fill in blanks like a broken-bubble, I walk-planks, and down open-tunnels
I'm still thanked, even when I get in trouble, and I inhale weed like through smoking-funnels.
Chicks love the bad-raps, like a pair of horrible-punishments
Priests upset at bad rappers like oracle-repugnances
They call me the punisher, I think I'm crazy, or bat-shit, like Bruce-Wayne
but who-claims, i'm too insane, 2 fingers- deuces-mane
my cake's better then betty-crocker, i'm a machete-stalker
it's like, when it rains it pours, like a confetti-Mossberg
I'm very-awkward, this chick's a sexy-daughter, she stays thirsty like the Dos-Equis I bought-her.

[Sam.]

Fucking loved this verse man.

Technically this was okay, I had a little problem with the flow though.Punches were definitely better than your last drop, but they could have been better.There's always scope for improvement when it comes to doing punchline's. Just watch out when you're using Multis, there's a overflow of Multis in the 1st 6 lines.Multis don't make a track great, the content does and you nailed the content beautifully.

Keep slayin 'em.

[Wreck]

Fucking loved this verse man.

Technically this was okay, I had a little problem with the flow though.Punches were definitely better than your last drop, but they could have been better.There's always scope for improvement when it comes to doing punchline's. Just watch out when you're using Multis, there's a overflow of Multis in the 1st 6 lines.Multis don't make a track great, the content does and you nailed the content beautifully.

Keep slayin 'em.

Thanks again bro for your feed on my 2nd piece in a day, appreciate it. Yeah, I rushed this, and didn't edit the lyrics, to make the flow better, that's always been my problem. I rely a lot on multis, then again I mix in punches too, but I also do feel like, with my music I like to make real records, like Pac did. Not comparing myself to him, just making an example out of what I try to accomplish with the music thing, ya know? But this was meant for a just spitting track. Thanks mane.

[Sam.]

Take your time and write, Re-Write if needed and then post.And I feed everyone man, no problemo.

[Mr.DGAF]

This is nice bruh, and I don't think I've read anything from you before. This has me inclined to be checking out your pieces more though.

The flow was pretty good man, the longer bars didn't really hinder it too much, but it does look a bit awkward. The multies were on point for the most part, though sometimes I felt like you overloaded on them. The Pac's-rare/Chalk-there rhymes were nice, but it just seemed like too many rhymes to pack in there. Which wouldn't be bad but it seemed like it was inconsistent where the multies went from packed in really tightly to loosely sprinkled in. I don't know if that makes sense or not, haha, but yeah. The content was executed really nicely, and I'm definitely peeping more stuff from ya.

[SG.]

The thing that matters about multis is quality, not quantity. The annoying thing about the multis on the first 6 lines was they were all two syllable. I've tried that path, it doesn't end well.

Overall, though, this is good shit, and I recommend you keep writing. As Sam said, take your time and edit if you have to.

[Wreck]

This is nice bruh, and I don't think I've read anything from you before. This has me inclined to be checking out your pieces more though.

The flow was pretty good man, the longer bars didn't really hinder it too much, but it does look a bit awkward. The multies were on point for the most part, though sometimes I felt like you overloaded on them. The Pac's-rare/Chalk-there rhymes were nice, but it just seemed like too many rhymes to pack in there. Which wouldn't be bad but it seemed like it was inconsistent where the multies went from packed in really tightly to loosely sprinkled in. I don't know if that makes sense or not, haha, but yeah. The content was executed really nicely, and I'm definitely peeping more stuff from ya.

Thanks for the feed bro, appreciate it. And honestly, this isn't even my best piece. Check out some more of my work in this section, I think it's better.

And I rapped it, and thought the flow wasn't as bad as well: at least not as bad as some of my other pieces were as far as the flow goes. Yeah I'm obsessed with multis, that's just me lol.

[Wreck]

The thing that matters about multis is quality, not quantity. The annoying thing about the multis on the first 6 lines was they were all two syllable. I've tried that path, it doesn't end well.

Overall, though, this is good shit, and I recommend you keep writing. As Sam said, take your time and edit if you have to.

I disagree, if you mean 2 syllables are like this:

I'm on that good-weed, I'm like Billy Joel- pushing-keys
Bullys pushing-jeez, fuck no, I aint a rookie-please!

That's what I consider a double-syllable/multi bars.

And thanks for the feed bro, thanks to all of you. And yeah, I definitely will!