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Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

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Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby SG. » Dec 7th, '11, 20:38

[Chorus (Sung) - Zabe]

In our lives, we reach a stalemate
Before we die, we say to hell, wait
Nutz and Zabe have told you twice
Life's a game, just roll the dice

[Verse 1 - J.R.]

I'm going bankrupt, and my Families in pain,
I come to you, ask for your love, You ask if im insane,
We were in love once, you said I was the best lover you ever fell for,
You sure cunt, Because I've heard others have heard that As Well whore,
I hear the ring on the bell door, it's you again, I didn't know it then,
But you came with men, prepared to end, This terrible life I'm suffering in.
I'm struggling just to see why, but somehow you made my heart cry,
And I sit and shiver on the floor, Trying to deliver some pride,
But I, just sit back and let myself die,
Stuffed up, is what my heart and I felt like.
And I just can't seem to get up and try to get you back,
I must try, is what I tell myself, but It's true that,
I won't get up and make any attempt to learn from my mistakes,
And now, I'm struggling, so bent I can't even keep my Eyes straight..
So roll the dice, look into my soul,
I stole its life, it dies to watch you go..

[Chorus (Sung) - Zabe]

In our lives, we reach a stalemate
Before we die, we say to hell, wait
Nutz and Zabe have told you twice
Life's a game, just roll the dice

[Verse 2 - Zabe]

I'm black and white, with a top hat and a moustache
Monopolising every fucking monotonous task
I've spoken enough about my father, you know he's passed
But in the simple life I wish for, he would've died last
Roll a 6, be a snitch, you'll be swimming in the dough
Another 6, fate's quick, you'll be spinning in Death Row
Whoo is this kid? Fucker, you ain't no disc jockey
Did I send a command? I'm oh so sick, mock me?
Poverty isn't a measure of wealth, arms or power
It's a disease, no vaccine, cause they won't harm a coward
The big boss in the office, they're screaming "Bono,"
"Fuck the world debt", but they're seen as hollow
Their souls, that is, but they don't have brains either
The kids are all cheering as soon as Nas says "Ether"
It's all clear skies, yet you got storms in your spirit
Fuck the dice of life, unleash scorn, then you'll fear it

[Outro - Zabe]

RIP everybody you loved. Prithee, we pray for thee.
RIP, pray for thee.
RIP, pray for... me.

LOF: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=134933

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Last edited by SG. on Dec 7th, '11, 23:39, edited 1 time in total.
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Menzo wrote:Lmao, you gotta love Zabe / SG...guy's so underrated.

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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 12]

Postby Sam. » Dec 7th, '11, 22:26

Decent work by both of you.


I really liked the content that both of you had. The interpretation of the Topic doesn't jell well with what both of you wrote, it should have been "Life's A Game" instead.That's your choice at the end of the day.

JR had a nice concept but some how held back some thought.Yet again the Multi's were really horrible and most of them were a stretch. Somehow you managed to maintain a Flow so the Multi part can be ignored for a while. On the other hand Zabe had similar problems too but to a lesser extent, some of his Multi's were good.I must also say that Zabe Structured his Bars perfectly, looked clean, while you had uneven Bars like always.Dude you need to work on technicals a fucking lot because your content is dope but too much focus on the Multi's is not paying you anything.This is nth time that you had such type of Multi's & Structure, work on that.
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 12]

Postby SG. » Dec 7th, '11, 22:32

Well, how many syllables do you need to have a dope multi? A good few, I would assume, which is what I'm trying to do.

I'll see if I can change it up for the next one.

EDIT: Realised you were talking to JR. Whoops.
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 12]

Postby Sam. » Dec 7th, '11, 22:41

Zabe wrote:Well, how many syllables do you need to have a dope multi? A good few, I would assume, which is what I'm trying to do.

I'll see if I can change it up for the next one.

EDIT: Realised you were talking to JR. Whoops.

Ha Ha! I was referring to him alright. The way I said it, it's not that apparent. :sweating:
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby Man1x » Dec 8th, '11, 01:09

Dope shit as always Zabe, the only thing I could say to work on, from my point of view, is stay on topic. You definitely took this one home like Sam. said, I agree with nearly all he said.

J.R. you have a good flow but your structure leaves little to be desired, you need to work on that. Work on coming in close range of the first bar's syllable count.
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby SG. » Dec 9th, '11, 23:03

B•U•M•P
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby Atone » Dec 9th, '11, 23:22

Nutz, your verse reminded me of some mafia type shit, not sure why but if this was a music video i could imagin your verse being done in black in white with mafia men and shit, idk, but it's good, i like it

Zabe, your verse would change the look of the video just based off your first line, it would go from Mafia style to, cartoonish, Monopoly game style but in a good way, i could see you steppin out of the car peice in monopoly to rap your verse,

this peice is different and crazy, i really like it, it tell's a story, and gives different visuals
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby SG. » Dec 15th, '11, 21:55

Lil bump, Lil feedback.

I see you Geno and DGAF, I'm feeding in a minute.
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Re: Roll the Dice (feat. J.R.) [TRACK 13]

Postby Mr.DGAF » Dec 16th, '11, 00:52

I like this man, it's the nicest verse I've seen J.R. drop in a minute. The multis for his verse were okay, but syllable count was off on a few. It's not too much of a big deal really, just something to say. The content was executed nicely,the flow was pretty easy. I just get the feeling that your rhyming is too basic. For instance, when you said bell door, I know that it went with the rhyme scheme, but to me, it would have been neater for you to have said it regularly, as in door bell, making it an inverse. It's subtle things like that that can elevate a normal writer into an excellent one. Just saying. Otherwise, nice drop man.

Zabe, I was impressed with this. I like the subtle/not so subtle references to the monopoly game in the begininning. The flow was on point, and the content was pretty nice man. I think I liked J.R.'s story more, but I really liked the way you both approached it with a semi-different set of mind. Not much to say, this is a pretty solid track from you guys, I'm impressed.
You'd be surprised...
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