I Gave You Flowers

[Slim Fiasco]

Link of feedback - viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146111&p=1923308#p1923308

It's no Put You On Game but it should be a nice read. I was playing around with personification again, but this time from a different point of view. The tittle obviously alludes to Nas's song which uses a similar concept.

I was born in the year nineteen thirty
Raised by Germans, my family was dirty
First thing they taught me was to hate Peace
They said he killed my father, the one they sadly miss
I never met him, but read about him in the books
An evil man, breathing blood, had horrifying looks
His best friends were the so-called Central Powers
Also known as the reason for people to buy flowers
My goal is to achieve the same but on a higher level
I’ve been trained to drop bombs and react as a rebel
I’m a deadly force, the source of evil, got no remorse
Helped by the Axis, I’ll make Peace pay like the taxes
It’s the end of the thirties, on the first of September
I will make you remember, how I burst through the door
They’ll know me as the world’s second, call me The War

*Probable plot holes (or whatever) with the dying/birth dates of the father (world war 1) and the son (word war 2) but I hope you don't mind it, lol. Or maybe the mother was pregnant for 12 years instead of 9 months, haha.

[mdemaz]

I got no idea what I just read, but I like it.

[Slim Fiasco]

I got no idea what I just read, but I like it.

Haha, thanks! Well, I write from the perspective of the World War 2 which has been made into a real person. The father is World War 1. Central Powers were the bad warring faction in World War 1, and hence them being the friends of the father. The Axis were the same for World War 2 and hence them being the helpers of the son. The 2nd World War started on the first of September, 1939. Establishing peace is required for a war to end, and peace has been made into a person as well.

[mdemaz]

What the hell, I'm gonna post a new piece and thanks for explaining, haha.

I didn't know what to say while reading this...

[Slim Fiasco]

What the hell, I'm gonna post a new piece and thanks for explaining, haha.

I didn't know what to say while reading this...

Haha, sounds good man. And yeah, no prob, I like to explain stuff.

[mdemaz]

Here's the piece:
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146121

It still needs work and stuff, but it's ok I guess.
I was trying out an original style of rhyming.

Tell me what's up, broham.

[Slim Fiasco]

Here's the piece:
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146121

It still needs work and stuff, but it's ok I guess.
I was trying out an original style of rhyming.

Tell me what's up, broham.

I'll give it a look a bit later!

[Slim Fiasco]

"I’ll make Peace pay like taxes" that's a pretty great line there lmao. This is pretty interesting, I like the references you stuck in there I don't know how, you built a story off of different personalities through different ages. That's nice as fuck man, your ideas are creative as hell.

Glad you liked that one, haha. It's the only simile I could do to rhyme with "Axis". And thank you! Well, I guess Lupe thought us well, . I'm basically using some other people's ideas and I'm flipping them my way. It's just for fun, so it's cool to try to make it all work. I will look into some other ones and try to make a list of "objectives" for the challenge. I may send you guys a PM or something.