one more quick verse.

[Block]

It's a...
a dangerous assessment made to summerize the wrecklessness
of summer skies, a deficite of angel dust,
take it up and hold my hand, the holy-land
is nothing but a way to fuck you over with the latest crutch
blaming us is starving life;
it's starry nights that never glow,
a carving knife for pleasure though the carnal type is never whole,
(it's hollow in the middle)..
as brittle as the longest night fighting through with each hand,
even beach sand can relate to what this monger writes
fulgurites are proof of this, I do exist, a tarnished life..
starting fights with hemmorrhages to let them win
and watch the blood, let them kiss me back to health
& ask if hell is hard to touch,
I started trusting mishaps... a gift-wrapped irrelevance,
telegraphed by thick glass & six-packed embelishments..


Link of feed: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146431&p=1931515#p1931515

[SajN]

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PM me or any of the G-Mods when you have it and this thread will be open again.

[SajN]

Edited in the link of feedback. Remember it next time.

[Emadyville]

something about the way flow on this along with the rhymes that just made it really poetic. overall it was pretty good, loved the rhymes: starving life, starry nights, carving knife, carnal type, tarnished life

[Gummybur]

^^^^^^

It did seem like 50/50 poem/rap

But rap is a poem wrapped into a box , so it ain't a bad thing. . I was feelin it, did you write it to a beat so I can feel it a little more?