rate my hooks

[DragonzEdge]

this from a song called In Return, i wrote cuz god gave me a bad life...

what the fuck do you want from me, god?
no wonder i always found your absense odd
where was you when i needed your ass
are you just smokin us like our ass was grass?
are we just like some ants you can just burn?
fuck it, ill give you my middle finger in return!

this is for one called U Pose

Ill get at you, when your pen hits that pad
Ill get at you when you admit your a fag
Ill get at you when you all up wid dem ho's
Imma blast you when you admit that you pose


and this one is called Ignite you


Ill ignite you
givin you mentally burnt scars
itll make you wanna cool down in searing hot tar
you wanna burn me?
bitch you in my world and you neva gon get free
you aint neva gonna get a fuckin spark on me

[Inzanity]

1 being the best 10 being he worst I'll give it a 3.

[Sunni]

They're ok. Are you just starting to write rap?

[DragonzEdge]

i started writing when i was in 8th grade when this bitch used me for money...then i started writing. i threw all my old shit away. i been writin for like 2 yrs. I dont really like makin up hooks...so if its not that good then tell me how to improve

[Sunni]

I'm not a bad freestyler, but I can't write rap that good, so you'd better ask people like DARJAN, Faith and ThomasAguanis. There are more but those three are off the top of my head.

[DragonzEdge]

dont get me wrong, my raps owns atleast thats what a lot of my friends tell me. but im just not as good at writin hooks, im just good enough to get by.

[Vettori]

Dragonzedge, whats up bro, Ok you want some advice for songs,
FIrst things first, Some of ur vocab, seems a little bit, un neccassary,
If you understand that, try using heavyier shit, larger words,
But yo, other then that,
Keep it deep, unless your like me. and do the whole deal,
Funny raps,Serius, emotional ( only occasional)
Think deep, take your time, Use real life as your Source,
Just fuck everyone That don't belive you can do it,

For me when i go to school, Alot of bad shit's gonna happen, and i already no this for sure, so ima have alot to write about,
But yo, enough of my yappin, Im out

"Faith"

[B.A.D.]

they wuz aight... u don't realy need to improve vocab, but your last hook lost the flow a bit... 7/10... the second one is nice

[DragonzEdge]

thanks, i only posted the hooks cuz i dont wanna post my whole rap up for personal reasons. the last hook i need the most help on cuz i know it loses flow..

[HAYZI]

thought i mite try help you out
and i was jus playin around with the two lines after if they can give you any inspiration

ill enlight you
i dont even feel to fight you,
use your imagination think what-i-might-do to spite you
Ill ignite you
tonite, i mite, suprise you
and earn you burns so bad shit might disguise you,

your liable, after runnin round in a fireball that to your entire family youll be unidentifiable

i cant kick tha habit, of dousin mothrfuckers in hydrochloric acid,
watch the skin disappear like flawless magic

btw unless youre goin the route of necro ill bill etc these types of hooks are really not what your lookin for dawg

[DragonzEdge]

those are a little tooo extreme...i just wanna get the message of you cant harm me or ill burn you not kill you thats another rap

[spitz]

i cant really say, cuz it depeneds how it flows over the beat, n it shouldnt matter if its skillful or not, if it gets the point across its done its job

[shadypelkey]

yo wuts up

[Tomega]

i like it very much. u should make one big song and i'll read it..