bigray - 16 bars

[CanadaPure]

Bigray's right Dante, that type of thing wont fly in this section. Since none of the other mods who can mod this section have read it yet, I can't delete it, but I am adding a warning point to your account.

[CanadaPure]

I don't have time to give full feedback right now ray, but:

Call me gutsy I kept your latest EP, syke Eedee!

Made me crack up. I will post full feed later tonight when I get a minute.

[Snakebeast]

What did Dante say? I WANNA SEE GODDAMMIT D:

Anyways, I really liked this 16. The rhymes were tight and they worked well with the beat. I liked and disliked this line:

Diss Draky
From Canada, my greens pure from BC like CP

While I didn't like how you forced "Drakey", I really liked the "CanadaPure" wordplay. You also managed to use the colour green. Pretty awesome :3

All in all, loved this. Do more

[Dante]

That's such bullshit. That WAS constructive criticism. Not in the sense of kissing his ass to please him, but I believe what I posted was completely fair. I'm not insulting the guy, I'm just saying those lines are outrageously idiotic. You sound so amateur writing those down, imagine all the "boo's" that would come out if you actually spit that to a group of strangers.

Stop focusing so much on rhymes and work towards making your lines sound GOOD. The first six bars are complete filler and "Bro you don't phase me you know I'm crazy" is probably the most common phrase in rap.

"We need to eat fuck a beat, want beef? Diss Draky" Makes you sound like a complete pussy. "Ah, man, I'm so scared to beef with another rapper. I'd rather eat so here call up Drake man, cuz he's soooo better than me."

/constructivecriticism

[Snakebeast]

That's such bullshit. That WAS constructive criticism. Not in the sense of kissing his ass to please him, but I believe what I posted was completely fair. I'm not insulting the guy, I'm just saying those lines are outrageously idiotic. You sound so amateur writing those down, imagine all the "boo's" that would come out if you actually spit that to a group of strangers.

Stop focusing so much on rhymes and work towards making your lines sound GOOD. The first six bars are complete filler and "Bro you don't phase me you know I'm crazy" is probably the most common phrase in rap.

"We need to eat fuck a beat, want beef? Diss Draky" Makes you sound like a complete pussy. "Ah, man, I'm so scared to beef with another rapper. I'd rather eat so here call up Drake man, cuz he's soooo better than me."

/constructivecriticism

Not sure what you wrote before, dude, but did you tell the dude what was positive about the verse? And while you should never kiss anybody's ass, you shouldn't tell someone that their lines are "outrageously idiotic". It's a lot easier just to say "I didn't like this line at all" and "I liked this line". And you manage NOT to piss people off.

[Dante]

Alright fine I admit I was being a little bit of a dick. I was being a chode.

[CanadaPure]

That's such bullshit. That WAS constructive criticism. Not in the sense of kissing his ass to please him, but I believe what I posted was completely fair. I'm not insulting the guy, I'm just saying those lines are outrageously idiotic. You sound so amateur writing those down, imagine all the "boo's" that would come out if you actually spit that to a group of strangers.

Stop focusing so much on rhymes and work towards making your lines sound GOOD. The first six bars are complete filler and "Bro you don't phase me you know I'm crazy" is probably the most common phrase in rap.

"We need to eat fuck a beat, want beef? Diss Draky" Makes you sound like a complete pussy. "Ah, man, I'm so scared to beef with another rapper. I'd rather eat so here call up Drake man, cuz he's soooo better than me."

/constructivecriticism

There you go, that's constructive. It's completely fine not to like someones work, but don't go into the sarcastic mocking area, that's not going to help anyone.

[Francesco]

Good job Ray... keep on practicing homie!

[Francesco]

Thanks buddy!

Anytime... I support & bump a lot of y'all hard working beez! Keep it up indeed.