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Outta Control

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Outta Control

Postby Spyder » Aug 19th, '13, 22:10

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=162154


Log on, shit, couldnt believe it at all y'all teasin response
amateurs banging keys in a blog get flicked like fleas on a dog.
get ready for the teeth showin beast mode unleashin the mon-
ster, octa stomp ya, stop ya Takeover and just Ether em all.
Rolly you aint iller, im straight killer is your aim lame filler?
collab made sense, after my punches you need help of a PainKiller.
break pill-or, Hercules break pillar homie just dont bottle it
couldnt di-gest my best, Pain Killer just couldnt swallow it.
what he say... liar, everybody lines are cliche... tried,
I Smash Bros. and 'backpack' rappers with that"PK Fire."
picking boring angles and what? i should strangle em shut
this aint Deer Hunter with me fucker, get your 'bang for your buck.'
flies to the Spyder, its what you worth to me, state of emergency
left hand makes dead man...
unload and magically re-cock like the Cobain murder scene.
aint a single name not heard of me, rackin up a murder spree
if youre not silver in color or name i say you deserve to leave.
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Re: Outta Control

Postby Mr.DGAF » Aug 19th, '13, 23:18

This was doooope, I love the beginning schemes. They actually flowed very smoothly, it felt like you left it because of the inners and then came back with Ether them all. I was anticipating some big responses from all this stuff, you did your thang homie.
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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Re: Outta Control

Postby ladelsofgravy » Aug 28th, '13, 20:19

great verse. there are a few rough edges (which may have very well been just pronunciation errors on my part), but overall it's flawless in terms of the flow. the smash bros line was funny, but really corny though. in the end, it's a very good verse.
TES > MMLP > MMLP2 > SSLP > Rec = Rel > Enc
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Re: Outta Control

Postby SajN » Sep 3rd, '13, 13:22

I like it.

Thought the rhymes were pretty good. I don't think I caught all references, but I did get most of them, I hope, lol. It's a good verse, but it didn't really feel smooth at first. Maybe it was just me reading a little different than you intended. 2nd try was better :y:
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Re: Outta Control

Postby Dewey Decimal » Sep 3rd, '13, 15:53

The flow and the multies were what really set it off. The concepts were pretty cool .. i can tell you been at this for a while.
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Re: Outta Control

Postby Just Silver » Sep 5th, '13, 15:00

this one was nice and short flow was really good and the monster line breakup was cool somethin i liked to do

multis were consistent the shoutout reminds me we need another collab s.s after my surgery

the rolly painkiller line was a favorite

piece was slept on cant say any need for certain adjustments since its short but overall ive seen alot better from you
as for flowing though its an improvement :y:
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Re: Outta Control

Postby Eedee » Sep 7th, '13, 03:33

Haha that was good shit, man. I loved the rhyming.

Nice ending line. If we're not Mr. DGAF or Just Silver we should leave.

K. *leaves*
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Re: Outta Control

Postby Spyder » Sep 7th, '13, 03:44

Hah thanks for the feed man.

And I just re-read this, its supposed to say 'tired' not tried LOL
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