Some shit written in class (Feedback please)

[Infliction]

Heres some shit I wrote today in class and on my bus It goes to the drama setter instrumental.

I'm the greatest there ever was, I dont back down to no blood or cuz, That's cuz,
I aint afraid of death, pop ya body till there aint nun left
The way I take battles, I should be arrested for theft
Dont be envious of my flow cuz you come no where near
When I'm spittin' my last line's you'll be shakin' in fear
The way I deliver this flow, make you shiver and fold, have you lyin' in cold, rotting in mold
We gon have to start callin' you cheezy, 14 years old and I'm spittin like Jeezy
Runnin' the streets causin' grief G, My homie's left me
Fendin' for myself against death B, don't tempt me, I'll roll up to ya home and spill a clip until its empty



Thats all I've got so far, heres one I wrote in bed the other night


I can't sleep, another restless night, lyin' down in the dark wit my eyes shut tight
Imaginin' what it would be like, to have a different life
A life wit less stress and less pain, cuz this hurt that flows through me is driving me insane
It's kinda strange, cuz I go through life with a positive mindstate
But lately I'm startin' to feel like it's too late...

[Infliction]

anyone?

[Kez]

I like it.

Only thing i can fault it for is less use of multies. I accept though that it isn't some people's style to use multies, so it's your choice.

Just offering opinion.

Keep writing.