Lyrics for what's gonna be my first audio! (Hopefully)

[4D]

This is my first time to rap, you might be inclined to laugh
And think it's kinda crap, or might infact agree this guy is packed
Fulla rhymes n facts, Timin exact, so fine I`m pract-ically obliged to brag
once the mic is clasped inside the tightest grasp ur mind is trapped,
Beseech you, leave you no time to unwind or nap
Cos line after line is slaps, my saliva smacks n bites n stabs,
A Sligo Chap who can write a rap as well as any Irish lad can fight or scrap,
I`m sicker than the wicker man with a can of liquor high on crack Drivin cabs,
Brain is fucked, Rhymes so mad I give my own mind da crabs,
Pilin slabs, each line is designed to climb da stack,
Risin ranks not goin' round the crowd, sides or flanks,
reducing past kings to drag queens and flyin flags,
Fryin' fags, Rappin lyrically with masculinity is a dyin fad,
And i`m strikin back, with violent acts of rhyme on tracks,
It's Irish rap 'n you lost ur spot so bad you can't find da map
You can try n catch me but ur behind n gaspin in the final lap,
When I write i unite white n black 'n make every eye smile or laugh,
But, I`ll stick to the white paper n black ink if you think my raps a stinkin pile a crap!

Don`t get bugged out about the structure, this is written for audio, and i have the rhythm in my head. it works perfectly. Just gimme some feedback on it anyway, let me know what you think!

[Kez]

Great multis, nice work because you not only rhymed them together but you put wordplay and shit in there.

Can't give constructive crit for shit, but i like it.

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

you goni get signed once that shit hits the airwaves lol

wordplay , multis , sick rythms , good flow......excellent work

[Coccoa]

Smh....u wrote a whole verse and didnt say shit.

[4D]

Smh....u wrote a whole verse and didnt say shit.

I suppose the garbage you've in this post : http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?t=25464

Is brilliant is it?

It`s easy to say something when you're being basic, with no wordplay, multies or flow. You may know a lot about recording equipment, and maybe you even can rap well, but, you're no lyricist. One of my kids could think up that basic shit.

And, thanks bar, maybe a slight exaggeration though, lol

[Coccoa]

We aint talking bout my shit, we talking about yours. My shit being bad or good has nothing to do with urs been garbage. We talking about YOU, YOUR rhymes. Can you back yourself up without mentioning somebody elses?

[stevethetruth]

sounds like a diss lol

but yeah not bad

but try writing an actual song if your gonna make the step to audio idk that's my opinon

[4D]

Course I can back myself up, it's a verse about self glorification, emcee type wordplay, about displaying how you can rhyme words, but, also be saying something. And they do say something, I`m tryin to say I`m great at rhyming words, can flow, and that`s where I think hip-hop needs to get back to. Back like around 1999, around the time Of Big Pun or Eminem's first tracks. If you think something is not saying something, then maybe you need to read it from a different perspective, or ask for an explanation.

But, I`ll admit it's nothing deep or metaphorical, just some lyrical rhymeplay, if that's not your cup of tea, then, each to their own.

And it does matter about "Your shit", you diss me, then you better have some strong material to back yourself up.

[Coccoa]

So u put a dozen multies, metaphors and whatever else there to tell us how great u are at multies, metaphors etc. And why would i care about it? Why would i care about ur wordplay, it aint my wordplay. You dont give to the audience something to care about. And u want hip hop to go back?? Like what, take evolution back. Things change, if u take em back, u ruin them. Hip hop should go forth, not back. Its over. 1999 is over. A 1999 song today means nothing. It is 2006 and hip hop is what the south is giving. Its called evolution whether hip hop hardcores like it or not. After the south there will be sumthin else, not worse or better, just different. And then you all will be like "wtf is shit where is the southern shit that shit was dope" and join the south. And afterwards there will be the same and then hip hop will die and we will get rid of it. Birth -> evolution -> death. There is no space for old 90s dickheads, there is no space for people who deny change. Nas will NOT bring it back, Nas is not bringing it back.

And if i wasnt a songwriter, but a simple listener what would u say? "You better have strong material to back yourself up", THE LISTENERS DONT HAVE A MATERIAL. But they are those who judge you so u better be ready to protect ur ass and have an answer for every question, otherwise ur own audience is burying you.

But i have a material, its not complex, i could try to make it complex, i dunno if would success or fail to it. Fact is, i dont wanna make it complex, i dont wanna try make it complex, i do it like this, the most important things on this planet have been said in common language. Even thought why we dont speak ancient Celtic but new generation English??

[4D]

So u put a dozen multies, metaphors and whatever else there to tell us how great u are at multies, metaphors etc. And why would i care about it? Why would i care about ur wordplay, it aint my wordplay. You dont give to the audience something to care about. And u want hip hop to go back?? Like what, take evolution back. Things change, if u take em back, u ruin them. Hip hop should go forth, not back. Its over. 1999 is over. A 1999 song today means nothing. It is 2006 and hip hop is what the south is giving. Its called evolution whether hip hop hardcores like it or not. After the south there will be sumthin else, not worse or better, just different. And then you all will be like "wtf is shit where is the southern shit that shit was dope" and join the south. And afterwards there will be the same and then hip hop will die and we will get rid of it. Birth -> evolution -> death. There is no space for old 90s dickheads, there is no space for people who deny change. Nas will NOT bring it back, Nas is not bringing it back.

And if i wasnt a songwriter, but a simple listener what would u say? "You better have strong material to back yourself up", THE LISTENERS DONT HAVE A MATERIAL. But they are those who judge you so u better be ready to protect ur ass and have an answer for every question, otherwise ur own audience is burying you.

But i have a material, its not complex, i could try to make it complex, i dunno if would success or fail to it. Fact is, i dont wanna make it complex, i dont wanna try make it complex, i do it like this, the most important things on this planet have been said in common language. Even thought why we dont speak ancient Celtic but new generation English??

You don`t have to care about it, it's only a meaningless display of skill, it's there to impress, not to affect anyone on a deeper spiritual level. I think hip-hop is shit right now, who's exciting? Who's doing anywhere near as good as Rakim, Big Pun, Eminem or Nas did? Nobody, you can big up the South all ya want, and whatever comes after it, but, unless it's lyrically greater i`m not now or ever gonna be interested.

[Coccoa]

Well u is u and the market is market. If i was 10 people on the left and 1 on the right, i will go for the 10. Music is not only lyrics, in fact you could hardly call hip hop a music until the Chronic and The Infamous released.

[yoshi]

great job Fordie, looks good. i wanna hear the audio version

[4D]

Ok, let's agree to disagree, we both have hugely different opinions!

[4D]

Thanks people, soon as I get a good oppurtunity (Some silence, lol) I`m gonna record this. Don`t expect fireworks, as I said, this is will be my first recording, so will most probably be shite, lol!