poemish thing i wrote for my girlfriend

by **ThomasAguanis** » Jan 9th, '07, 05:42

wrote this during major British writers while we were reading Mac Beth on Friday. I wrote it in a note to take up about half a page and it was all freestyle written and wasn't arranged in bars or anything. It just filled the lines, so i made it readable and i plan to add to it in the future and record it for her :wub:

any feedback is great.
(and am posting it now because I got the note back today so I could type it up..she had it obviously and I didn't remember any of it in detail so I took it back to copy and she's getting it back tomorrow :sweating:

)

you're my shining star, who found my life
every night you shine so bright
my kind, my type,sent from above
to be my best friend and my love
the one for me who's fun to see
and loves me back as I love you
I hug you and my problems disappear
along with all threats and fears
when we kiss it's magic and I can't kick the habit
you're not just my rabbit, my sexy bunny
but you blessed me honey,
you're my angel who's feathers are flesh
and yes, we'll be together till death
forever we're next to each others side
we'll never part, and if the weather's dark
well we have a leather heart that outshines all problems
our minds will solve them we can't break, we'll stand,
so take my hand.....

by **sinemm** » Jan 9th, '07, 09:43

thats rly nice i think..when she hears it she will be so happy im sure

by 4D » Jan 9th, '07, 13:19

Great job as always Tom. Nice to see that no matter what you're writing about, you're still keeping it flowing and keeping the multies. I respect that, I always try to do that myself.

by **ThomasAguanis** » Jan 9th, '07, 22:49

thanks sinemm I'm sure she'll like the recorded one since I'm gonna make this longer and she really liked this already.

and thanks Fordie. i try to keep it flowing and have multis so it's good to see someone(who knows more than I do about flow and multis) sees them. Makes me feel like I'm keeping my stuff up to my own par

thanks again to both of you :flower:

by **stevethetruth** » Jan 10th, '07, 04:15

yo so this was what you were telling me about

nice man i liked it lol
i also how you managed to keep those muiltes in there too great work man :worship:

by **ThomasAguanis** » Jan 10th, '07, 04:29

steverocks88 wrote:yo so this was what you were telling me about

nice man i liked it lol
i also how you managed to keep those muiltes in there too great work man

yup that was it :8)

thanks a lot Steve :flower:

by **C-Game** » Jan 10th, '07, 19:10

thr we have another TA drop...
gals gonna love it but 2 bad my girls dont understand multies

anyway ur at it again with ur multies and meanin and flow
nice job bro..

poemish thing i wrote for my girlfriend

poemish thing i wrote for my girlfriend

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