Taking TR By Storm

by **Rain Matrix** » Jan 24th, '07, 05:52

I've waited 4 Ages 2 Say This
Face It I'm Outrageous
I Stay Sick so I'm Contagious
I'm Serrated so there Evasive
b Courageous I'm what tha Rage Is
I'm hittin tha Stages harder than Guages
now that my Pages r coming out of their Cages
c I'm an Industry Man
with a Constingency Plan
my mom Birthed a Great
tha Nerve of tha State
thought I Deserved a Case
now u'll Observe their Fate
take a look at the Words u Face
time 4 me 2 Perpatrate
I'll Merc em Straight
I Hurt these Fakes
they all put in Work 2 Late
pound 4 pound
their not Worth tha Weight (Gyeah!)
now my Homboys Trippen
cuz I Toy with Provisions
my Voice is on a Mission
can't leave Points Missing
my Choice is my Position
I'll Enjoy this Collision
theres Noise so we can Listen
lately I Destroy Auditions
destined 2 b tha Echo in yur Ears
my people Let Go of yor Fears
don't eva give in Shed No Tears
I Control Text like a Lesson
my Foes Expect 2 b tha Next Contestant
I'm in Full Effect as I Null Threats
so if tha Show Bets I neva Owe Debts (Gyeah!)
no chance of me being Exhuasted
I'll show u what a Boss Is
yur dam right I've Lost It
I'm Not Fit 2 Drop This
u need 2 b Cautious
yur boy is Obnoxious
my rymes r so sick
I'm leaving u Nautious

by **Restlesswon** » Jan 24th, '07, 07:40

not bad man,nice job,many great lines in there

by **Flamez** » Jan 24th, '07, 08:13

some nice lines..nice shit liked it..

by 4D » Jan 24th, '07, 09:37

Cool, some very nice multies there man, flow kind of suffers a little bit though, try moving some of them multies to the start of a sentence, it'll work wonders for your flow. Also, just to keep an eye on the correct amount of syllablles, otherwise the multies don't work properly.

For instance:

........boys-Tripp-en (3 Syllables)
........Toy-with-Pro-vis-ions (5 Syllables)
.......Voice-is-on-a-Mis-sion (6 Syllables)
........Points-Miss-ing (3 Syllables)
........Choice-is-my-Po-sit-ion (6 Syllables)
.........joy-this-Col-li-sion (5 Syllables)
.........Noise-so-we-can-List-en (6 Syllables)
......Destroy-Au-ditions (3 Syllables)

It still rhymes fine, but as a multi it has lost it's effect, and it kind of messes with the flow a bit. Not being a cunt to ya man, just tryin to offer some constructive criticism. I actually liked this one a lot, so keep it up!

by **Rain Matrix** » Jan 24th, '07, 16:55

Thanx I stretched some lines but I was excited 2 b back and dropping rymes thanx fo tha input I liked this one

I'm an Industry Man
with a Constingency Plan

Dats all me lets make a bet who thinks i'm giving up anytime soon

by 4D » Jan 25th, '07, 09:43

Rain Matrix wrote:
I'm an Industry Man
with a Constingency Plan

Yeah, I like that man!!

by **phenomenon** » Jan 25th, '07, 13:16

sick rhymes

Taking TR By Storm

Taking TR By Storm

good

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