reach tha end of tha desert and turn around

[Rain Matrix]

my lyrics fear this spheric habitat, like sad rap tracks, so I try 2 grab facts back
if yur made then persuade them, verbatim, we make are [response abilty] have at that

tha flows so talkative, it's provacative, I analyze 2 handle lies, watch what u say or do
my connection is tha texting, like thinking a song is 4 u, and every word makes it more tru

fuck allegations my calibrations worth it, my verses persist, while yur on a vacation
could sleeps meaning be 4 us 2 keep dreaming, awake we create like personification

I hit blunts and get drunk, sometimes I wonder why this, it's her I miss, tha answer is Easy A Home I'm walking tha same mile, thats pains style, this isn't what I meant when I said Leave Me alone

maybe my luck sucks, I get fucked up, if 1 jumps in, I'll confront him while many others hide
twisted views, is it tru, demons visit u, tha devil chuckles an echo subtle cuz my brother died


I had some personal elements in there and some different stucture, I wanan say I'm goin thru a hard time, but if u fall u keep falling, honestly I don't have tha capability 2 do audios, but if I did I'd make it my own, take it 4 what u will ~1~ Tha Rain Man

[Kez]

I'm sure this is good, but it's just too confusing to read

[Rain Matrix]

When 1 brick falls tha wall comes down

[Kez]

Hmm i see how you feel i suppose

No your stuff is good, it's probably just cause i'm too lazy and can't be arsed to read songs, i'm more of an audio guy

Which makes me ask myself, why am i in the creative writing section?

I'll stay out of your threads in future Rain

[D@vid]

honestly, its great if it made sense. and do u really think u can make that into a song? the lines are way too ridiculously long. u may be good at writing, but writing for writing, and writing a song are two completely different things. if u wanna really make it, then try looking at a few song lyrics and trying to stay in that mold. i'm not saying do what other artists do, but just "copy" how they structure their songs


a lot of ur shit like fordie said in the other thread looks like it flows, but when u really say it, it doesn't. and sometimes they just don't make sense. anybody can throw a bunch of rhyming words together, but making them make sense and making it complex is the real key. i think u can do that if u would just read what u wrote out loud and try looking up the definitions to words, even if u think u know what they mean


not meant to hurt u, just straight criticism from some nobody

[Rain Matrix]

Kez I didn't want u 2 never read my shit again, david all of it makes sense 2 me or I wouldn't have posted it how about pointing out tha rhymes in question so I can shed some light on them

[D@vid]

i guess in this one the only thing that doesn't make sense is the line that ends with easy a home. i dunno if thats some kind of saying or im just missing the meaning behind it