Government Property

[Ka0t1c]

Rediculous rhymes read over and said
from anyones mind out my maticulous head

yet many men find a continuous thread
others haven't a picture, they're blind from the wisdom i spread

at times I just pretend that im fine, they don't figure i'm sad
cuz i didn't remind them my adventure is bad

but i never meant to cross lines, this decision I add
has been to be entered by the command of the General Uncle Sam

[Tash8]

too be honest that's too simple

i liked ur flow though, it was unique the way i did it atleast.

keep at it

[James R.]

I agree with Tash. It was too simple. The rhyming, ideas, and all the lyrical aspects of the song were just too blah ya know. As for the flow, it seemed to get stretched as the song progressed, but you weren't getting more complex, you were just saying more. If you could keep a more even flow, add a little complexity, utilize some similies/metas/multies, and maybe make the song a little longer you'll be in good shape. It's apparent that the ideas are there, they're just not being expressed the right way.