hmm a new style i'm trying (finished verse)

by **stevethetruth** » Aug 25th, '07, 03:00

it's funny hearing people go who's the truth?
stupid dummy this somebodys' flow blew the booth
through the roof in my head a couple screws loose
but who's to prove they ain't completely screwed
once i'm finished and through you'll be bleeding blue
for no reason should you dare to fuck with me dude
as you recoup cower in fear showered with tears
the hour is near, time to, devour the queers
let em' burn in hell to a crisp in a furnace cell
broiled as well it's not my falut they couldn't fortell
i'm a lion when crazy snarling at every kid and baby
you can't kidd and play me rid and hate me
you made me don't phase me bitch embrace me
cause dreaming for another rapper won't replace me
fuck those who hate me and the pricks who rate me
ya'll just fucking drive me crazy

more to be added but this is it for now

by **stevethetruth** » Aug 25th, '07, 17:18

i added more to it, so uh bump i guess

by **Tash8** » Aug 25th, '07, 18:26

it's funny hearing people go who's the truth?
stupid dummy this somebodys' flow blew the booth

i think if you added that after flow it woulda been better, flow could be fixed

through the roof in my head a couple screws loose
but who's to prove they ain't completely screwed

ur multis are getting better

once i'm finished and through you'll be bleeding blue
for no reason should you dare to fuck with me dude

nice

as you recoup cower in fear showered with tears
the hour is near, time to, devour the queers

not bad, but kinda forced, and i hate when people use the style of just multis after multis, i think 2 multis per 2 bars is gound enough

let em' burn in hell to a crisp in a furnace cell
broiled as well it's not my falut they couldn't fortell

not bad

i'm a lion when crazy snarling at every kid and baby
you can't kidd and play me rid and hate me

nice but again no need to do some many multis, it just sounds weird

you made me don't phase me bitch embrace me
cause dreaming for another rapper won't replace me

nice

fuck those who hate me and the pricks who rate me
ya'll just fucking drive me crazy

overall, it's a nice improvement for the multi world, good job on that.. just keep practicing it should be coming natural soon.

by **stevethetruth** » Aug 26th, '07, 07:26

thanks for the feed bro :y:

bump

by **C-Game** » Aug 26th, '07, 07:43

too be honest steve .. im impressed...
i have read ur stuff for abt a year... here and there...

but this is the first time im seeing some good multies from u ..

it's funny hearing people go who's the truth?
stupid dummy this somebodys' flow blew the booth
through the roof in my head a couple screws loose
but who's to prove they ain't completely screwed

good transition there

it's funny hearing people go who's the truth?
stupid dummy this somebodys' flow blew the booth

these 2 lines u can maintain da flow if u emphasize on DUMMY and BODY
in a 4 x 4 beat...
1st beat DUMMY
2nd beat BODY ...
den u get da flow...

da vocab was simple...
well complexity wise ( except for vocab ) this a good drop

by **stevethetruth** » Aug 26th, '07, 14:42

thanks for the feedback man

oh and yeah that's how i flow that line, lol

by **stevethetruth** » Aug 26th, '07, 23:21

McMaybe wrote:the structure may not be perfect, but the flow makes up for it.. lyrics are pretty good. But the flow is what makes it stand out, i dont know.. it just flows great for me.