Collab wid Sajjad Pt2

[Tash8]

since my birth, the trouble's been drastic
the devils got me held tight like a cover and blanket
now i'm reminicisin', watching me like a body double get asswhipped,
thanks to the members of URD who got me a little passed it
i will never forget that you were the reason, I got out of this metal casket
story's over, SA's is next, i can easily bet you'll gasp quick


I think ih ave my best multis in here

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

its a little short for a audio verse, how many bars you got on the track lol

and yeh the rhymes are great only "constructive" thing i could say on that level is try in bar rhymes even small ones to flow the rhymes right into the next bar, but the same structure through-out probly keeps the flow on so idk coz i aint heard the beat or the audio of it

as for the lyrics only tip i could say it

since my birth, the trouble's been drastic
the devils got me held tight like a cover and blanket

sound better if you say "like a covering blanket" or "smothering blanket" depended on the effect you what coz held tight by the devil then smothering gives the impression of you getting choked, witch sounds more on point and naturual to the rest of the verse imo, but whatever you feel works its obviously your choice lol


but good verse man waiting for the track

[Tash8]

thanks man, i'll look into what u said

but it's not just this much

we have a diff structure for our song

it will be complicatexd to explain

thanks again

bump

[SajN]

Nice Tash.
And those multies are also great. From the other stuffs I'VE seen from you, this may be on top.. yeah maybe..

It looks great yeah