Just A Little Poem

[-[Zach]-]

my mind is spinnin wit good n bad thots
i want it 2 end but it can't stop
in my mind every time i turn a corner theres a wall
the walls symbolize negativity n the power it has on us all
its wat makes us tired of breathin n tired of livin
we're tired of grievin but thats all we're givin
the power 2 turn a cold soul warm is wat we need
cuz the power 2 turn a warm soul cold is wat makes 1 bleed
tortured souls cry out 4 help everyday but no one stops 2 listen
but tortued minds hide the pain n death is wat they r wishin
but when sum1 has both a tortured mind n soul then theres no winnin

any feedback would be appreciated.

[Nu Syd]

nice read

[-[Zach]-]

thank you for the comment. very appreciated.

[Arabian Shady]

that was pretty cool man.but it ended abruptly, i felt as tho u could have wirtten more
there were some pretty solid lines in there,meaningfull, well thought
my advice : try n write some more n make the end so sick that u throw this out of the park man
nice flow, gd lyrics but short
peace

[-[Zach]-]

thank you. i kind of ended it out of nowhere because i wasn't really sure of what else to write to it lol but i will definately work on that. thank you for the advice. very apppreciated.