Can I Live (my version)

[Ticalrecords]

the verse is written to a beat kinda like jay's "Can I Live"

tell me wut yall think

The effects of this game is scarrin me//
a generation of fuck ups//
some evolve into criminals/ the rest play authority//
we either grow up to be/ cut throats or doctors//
shit/ neither aint far for me//each straight bar i breathe//
appeals to my faith properly// i ask god/ will you promise me/
to end this pain i cant tolerate/ fuck it just stop it please// i cant breathe!//
nightmares blanket my eyes/ i only hope for god to spare me a tragic demise// I Cant Die!//
each breath is a challenge to life// fightin off death/ with a passion to strike// I Stand By!//
my words/ and the actions of mine// trapped in solitude/ left to watching the passage of time//
I Plan My!// blueprint to doing the most hazourdous crimes//
evidence of me pouring my soul/ into these passionate ryhmes// I Cant Lie!//
im placin hope and belief/ in my lyrical skills// smokin dope to relief/ my pitiful chills// im frozen cold - no reprieve from these difficult bills/ my chosen road seems a dream/ as my adrenaline biulds// now that sadams gone/ he'll be the one who's definition i fill// so can i live?

im not very good at showing wear my bars end, but the single slashes mean a 'pause" if yk wut i mean... and the double bars is wen the bar ends.
some feed back wud b cool.