First attempt at a freestyle/rap

[Solace]

Balls

[Darkblade44431]

yo that wasnt good, even for a freestyle. now i suck at freestyles and i'm workin on my regular raps, think i got a good one comin up, but thats beside the point. i can think of stuff better when i type instead of say it. hopefully i'll get better at that too. but its cool that you're just starting to rap, if you want, we could work together on some shit, cuz i'm just starting to rap too. anyways, record too, and use beats.

[Solace]

thanks a lot man i appreciate that your being honest ill download some beats/instrumentals. ill try the freestyle again.

[Robbie G]

I thought it was pretty darn good for your first time.

[<VerbalTouch>]

Its was better then my first my first hardly even rhymed but some tips

didnt ya hear i just dissed you boy
now go along play with your toys

Stay away from those simple rhymes boys toys thing like those are used way too much in todays hip hop.

[Solace]

heres my new one, i tried editing my previous post but it didnt show up for some reason

i tried to be calm, i tried to be cool
just cause i cant rhyme dont mean im a fool
now bitch lemme relax gimme some pills
im more fucked up than anyone on Dr Phil
im the crazy lady cross the street with 20 cats
but i still step on you like a floormat
at least im not stupid, scared of my shadow
im just loopy, scared of the ghetto
now as i stop this second attempt
i just wanna tell you: get bent

[Emadyville]

Both of em werent bad, agreed with the simple rhymes thing, unless you doubling them, don't use em. It overall was simple, but for your first, not bad at all. Liked the addition at the end, the Dr.Phil thing was pretty funny, keep it up.

[Solace]

Its was better then my first my first hardly even rhymed but some tips

didnt ya hear i just dissed you boy
now go along play with your toys

Stay away from those simple rhymes boys toys thing like those are used way too much in todays hip hop.

I thought it was pretty darn good for your first time.

thanks for the help djblue and thanks to both of u for the feedback.

[Solace]

Both of em werent bad, agreed with the simple rhymes thing, unless you doubling them, don't use em. It overall was simple, but for your first, not bad at all. Liked the addition at the end, the Dr.Phil thing was pretty funny, keep it up.

Thanks to you too. im glad people arent dissing me

and i like the second one better cuz its shorter and i think its just plainly better but thats just my opinon.

[Darkblade44431]

np man. and the second freestyle was better, it flowed more.

[Solace]

to be truthful im not actually wanting to be a rapper, im just doing it for fun; and if do get pretty damn good at it ill be able to diss my friends so badly (or people i hate) and if i do get REALLY REALLY GOOD at it, why not buy a mic, record some shit and send it out?

[Solace]

heres another freestyle, i hope its improving

really, i dont think you should be messing around with me,
because you know im like Dr. D-R-E,
I'm a watcher, so ima watch ya fall flat on your butt,
rape your mom, the great known slut
now as i say bye bye, ima lie, and say have a nice day
enjoy your stay, at Club Gay

[Darkblade44431]

lol, that was funny, but it wasnt good. Also try rhyming more than one word from each line with each other.

[Solace]

another try...

why dont i just ejactualte on you
its not like youve got much better to do
with the price of 50 bucks an hour youve got all the goddamned power
also i didnt take a shower so whatcha gunna do now huh
get tested for some disease, after all i pleased
now your gunna die, and its all my
fault, i opened up your *vault*, and made an assault
but i actually made a hault
so you know that shadymademe
so i must be gayer than a straight lady
now as i OD everything becomes wavy..
fuck im buzzed lets join the gay parade babyy!

lol haha (and no im not gay )

[Solace]

that one also i wasnt trying to make good lyrics i was practicing having 2 rhyming words in 1 line.