Based On A True Story

[-[Zach]-]

i remember way back when, we used to be close
late night conversations, talkin til the sun rose
talked about life, love, and problems
we'd often help each other solve them
you never let a man talk to you wrong
i admired you for being so strong
you were independant and unlike any other girl
but now you've changed, what happened to your world?
now you show your body, hopin guys notice
i try to tell you to stop but its hopeless
you have a new man every other week
and even when you have a man you cheat
that ain't the girl i used to know
i want her back, where'd she go?
and its sad because now i can't trust you
and what makes it worse is how much i love you
seems like you always flirt, your eyes always on a new man
i want to help you before its too late, but i don't know what to do....damn
you used to believe in love and you taught me to enjoy it too
but now when you say your in love i get annoyed with you
because its not love its just a crush
but you don't see that so your always stuck
you're not the same these days
you know 2Pac, its like he say
i love you like a sister but you need to switch
and thats why we call you bitch


i know its not the most lyrical thing ever written but any kind of feedback would be appreciated.

[Emadyville]

It was kind of choppy, and glad you mentioned the lyrical part, I liked the ending, really didn't like a few rhymes, not cause they were simple because there obviously was a reason for the simplicity, but they were rhymes you hear in so many songs, rap or not, that and choppiness were my only criticisms.

[-[Zach]-]

yea i feel you on those rhyme schemes i used. i ain't going to lie i had to budge a few rhymes lol but this was just something i really felt i had to write. thanks for you honesty man. your comment is very appreciated.

[Marsh devileny]

Really dope drop

"I remember way back when, we used to be close
late night conversations, talkin til the sun rose
talked about life, love, and problems"

Just a few lines’ that stood out to me I can relate to that lol

[-[Zach]-]

thanks man. glad at least one person can relate to this lol your comment is very appreciated.

[Robbie G]

i thought that was pretty good man. It was simple, but it worked and it was personal so it was good.

[-[Zach]-]

thanks man. much appreciated.