Practice

[Solace]

Ok, this is just a pracitce verse. Tell me what is GOOD about it, and tell me what should be improved on. I know its not good, its just practice.

i am hated even in my own home
id rather be in a closet, crouched all alone
ive felt pain no one has ever known
i should change my colors, before my cover is blown
i try to keep my sadness bottled up inside
i couldnt help it, last night i had to cry
time to stand up, it aint right to hide
its time to make a choice, its time to decide
today i will show my voice, or i will subside
ill do what i gotta do, because i know its right.

even in my own opinion its not good
so...what do u think of a beginners work?

[-[Zach]-]

don't be so hard on yourself. that was pretty damn good. especially for a beginner. it had real emotion in it too so thats good. i'd say just make sure you keep it up and keep your head up. very good job

[Solace]

hey really? thanks that means a lot. also this isnt about my life so i tink i should try focusing on things happening in my life. its more about people in like dangerous gang areas. but yea thanks i appreciate it -[Zach]-