I DONT THINK YOU REALLY WANNA START IT

[Darkblade44431]

ok, here's somethin i just recently started workin on. I've only got the first verse and hook right now, and i know the hook is long as hell, but w/e. Tell me how this is. Its called:
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I dont think you really wanna start it:
which, which, which, which,
bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
yo...lets get it started.
---- Which bitch wanna start it with me?
was it the snitch in the car?, cuz my life isnt free,
It'll cost ya more than just a few pennies,
it cost more than all your friends in every city,
--My life is priceless, you cant take it away from me,
your body's lifeless, ya cant stand or take a seat,
all you can do lay down and bleed now that your life span's ending,
--Everyone knows it wasnt the speed, weed, crack, or acid,
and thats all cuz its me, get you pleadin, diseased, wacked, and blasted,
i'm with your girl in the lead, she gettin fucked from the back, we're gettin nasty
its too bad ya cant do nothin about it, and im up here shoutin it,
i dont even frown at it, and you're in the ground, and it,
doesnt matter cuz u cant make a sound, ya girl's all wound..up, so if ya wanna get back at me, then, get up, oh, its too bad u were born just to get set up.

HOOK:
i dont think you really wanna start it, start it. if ya do then you're retarded, tarded. Come up to me like you want it, want it. man ur stupid usin phonics, phonics. open ur mouth up to talk but u dont know wat to start with, and ya cant even walk the same way you can talk with...dipshit. yo, i'm nothin to be fucked with, fucked with.

[Makaveli525]

Nice read, good message... Structure needs some work, but its good for the most part.

And what's the problem with Juice (your sig)?

You mad cuz he slaughtered Em?

[Darkblade44431]

thanks for comment. And i'm mad cuz juice sucks, em slaughtered him, and juice just didnt deserve to win.

[<VerbalTouch>]

thanks for comment. And i'm mad cuz juice sucks, em slaughtered him, and juice just didnt deserve to win.

You mad at him cause you lost? Wow lets text battle

[Darkblade44431]

lmao, no i'm mad at Juice cuz he beat eminem. lol, this has nothing to do with me.

[Rain Matrix]

well tha rhymes were somewhat promising

[Darkblade44431]

Thanks? were you talking about me or juice?

[Rain Matrix]

I'm not juice I'm rain matrix I don't know who he is or what not I'm doing my own thing

so anyway this piece needs some work

[Darkblade44431]

k. thanks for feedback.