Some rhymes I found while cleaning my room

[ThomasAguanis]

As title states. Probably from September-May? I know it was written during school.

This was making fun of a girl my girlfriend was good friends with but than stopped talking to her once we started going out and ignored her from then after. This girl is ugly as all hell too. Turns out 2 of my friends hooked up with this girl on the same night when they were drunk hahaha. When I found out I started to write and came up with this:

Sure I'll just laugh, you both hooked up with Lauren McGraph!
According to graphs, she's a whore and a half!
carries sores and a rash, is in store for a bath but needs oars and a raft!
cause all the soap needed to pour and to splash is more than a half of the worlds waterous mass!
that orgish giraffe looks like a boar that's been lashed in the forest and gashed
I wish Chuck Norris would bash that deplorable mass of and unstorable trash!


Also found a complete verse Not sure what the fuck I was trying to do structure wise and some of the shit I say doesn't make sense but this was during my "I'm confused with emotions" songwriting period of time and I'll contribute it to that.

I wish I knew what life entails in the future
but now I grip the mic and set sail, it's my booster
Am I frail, am I super? Am I sick when I write? or just another prick with a mic?
Listen it's like I'm slipping on ice, I'm tripping with fright
It's like someone pissed in my sight and is kicking my life
I'm sick of this fight, constantly flippin with strife when fighting myself
Writing, it helps but nothings likened to help, since I'm fighting myself
So I hope lightning strikes and I welt and on the sight I just melt
Right now I'm not even liking myself, despising my conscience
Seems Like I'm alive with no object
So I'm revising the constants and realize that it's nonsense
I'm striving for calmness but it's like my insides are riving with bomb threats
my eyes are so pompous Tom's just uneven like the sides of a rhombus
I rive and encompass my life and know I can't be saved
so why do I rant and rave? all it does is damn my day
Stand away, I need my alone time, I'm about to nose dive
I'm so behind I'd rather bleed and go die than grieve and go cry
I don't even know why I'm slow to calm or know what's going on in my own mind!

[The Toy Soldier]

Tight.

[Xray]

verse is sick man, flow on it is superb

[Kez]

Again, you just work the multis unlike anyone i've heard

[Emadyville]

Sick, enough said.

[Tash8]

Again, you just work the multis unlike anyone i've heard

i honestly think you overwork them

cool it down, cuz lyrically ur sick but mutli after multi is cool but not when u have 3 multis in five lines

anyways not bad, keep it up

[ThomasAguanis]

Thanks for the comments. I may record the verse before recording some other songs I have to record soon just to get back in the swing of things.

[Ka0t1c]

yeah, i think the 1st piece is great and the second one is garbage bc ur multies sucked in my opinion

[4D]

Kinda agree with Kaotic, the first verse is better flow and multi-wise, the second is not as good.