Life is a classroom.

[Evanz19]

More of a poem than a rap, my first piece of rap or poetry i've shared with anyone so definetly not overly-confident about anything. Very short, but im looking to lengthen and improve it, so comments and advice are much appreciated.

The world is the classroom, lifes the lesson,
Alcohol is the rebels anti-depressant,
Love is the task, and war is always in mention,
but we're just the kids that ask the questions.

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

deep...as u said no real rap hehe
but got bottom and top wutchu sayin

[Evanz19]

Yh, it was intended to be a poem in the end, thanks for commenting, any advice of how to improve?

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

try to match the syllable number in each line
next thing...maybe it would be more slick if u add some more rhymes..like for "classroom" etc
should be enuff for now hope this helps...

[Slim Zaddy]

it's nice

[Emadyville]

Good shit. Just listen to what Chris said, that was good advice.

[Evanz19]

Thanks.

[Evanz19]

Thanks.

[Emadyville]

Actually, I should say it was good. I think what made it good besides the concept and the rhymes, were how the first and third lines have pauses, and the second and fourth lines are read as one line without a pause, I think that made it sound better in my head as I read it. If you continue it try to use that same method, just my thoughts.

[Evanz19]

Thanks again.

[Solace]

It was good man. I liked Love is the task and war is always in mention. Cant wait to see your other work.

[Evanz19]

Wow, thanks a lot.

[Robbie G]

Not bad, I couldn't picture it as a rap song but it was a good poem.

keep it up.

[neversnooze]

this was short and sweet im looking forward to the finished work

[Evanz19]

Thanks a lot all of you and i definetly will listen to your advice and its now offically a poem.