Two Verses

[Emadyville]

These are two verses from a song meant to be about my view on relationships/girls or whatever. It's a little soft but I just wanted some opinions on the content, rhymes, message, or whatever else. I'd appreciate it, I feed everyone on here so show me some love. Thanks, and be honest.


I did my work now she’s texting-me,
Waiting for her to be sitting next-to-me,
Waiting for an answer, I cannot question-me,
If my mind says no but my heart says yes-to-me,
Then presently, I’ll be smiling pleasantly,
First off, she’s what I need and secondly,
She’s what I want and I know this blessedly,
But it’s still a mess I see, stressing-me,
If she says no there’ll be nothing left-to-me,
So I get upset and resent-in-me,
Waiting for clear days without perplexity,
When ecstasy I’m full of and especially,
When testing-me is done without complexity,
I’ll wait it out and mix that recipe,
I just want to make it official like a referee,
But maybe this is just part of our destiny…


Okay here it is, my time to be completely honest,
Women are a gift, I might even say a goddess,
You can’t be into yourself, always keep it modest,
If you lie you lose, so always keep a promise,
It’s not about the strongest or who lasts the longest,
You need to fully understand what this song-is,
It’s my expression of how I truly foresee it,
If I don’t get what I really want, then so be-it,
But when that girl has me so I can’t sleep great,
I might be love rich, so never be a cheapskate,
When that lusts turns to more, and I go to sleep wait,
I realize she isn’t a memory or a keepsake,
So I keep faith, at the fork in the road I keep straight,
I take that different path because any deep hate,
For girls I once dated, can often creep late,
And can ruin the chance I have to win the sweepstakes,
So I text her and when my phone beeps great,
I speak from my heart, I write what my heartbeat makes…

[Steve Spag]

pretty sick man. had a unique flow to it, it was more like poetry, but it was cool. nice lyrics, deep stuff.

keep it up

[Emadyville]

pretty sick man. had a unique flow to it, it was more like poetry, but it was cool. nice lyrics, deep stuff.

keep it up

Thank you man I appreciate the feed.

[mcZu]

Nice rhyme-scheme, concept was great, not to complex but I liked the concept
The first verse had some great rhymes, and the second verse was more honest, as in getting your feelings over.. Nice piece man I liked it

[Emadyville]

Nice rhyme-scheme, concept was great, not to complex but I liked the concept
The first verse had some great rhymes, and the second verse was more honest, as in getting your feelings over.. Nice piece man I liked it

Damn thank you. This is actually the first and third verse of the song, the second verse I don't really like, maybe eventually I'll post that in here to get some feed. Thanks again.

[Slim Zaddy]

well done ,, content is good , flow and multies are great .. i liked it ...

[Emadyville]

well done ,, content is good , flow and multies are great .. i liked it ...

Thank you for the feed again.

[Dark Blue]

yeahh u should record it/do a song

[Emadyville]

It's going to be on my next album