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''It aint hard to plan''

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''It aint hard to plan''

Postby mcZu » Sep 17th, '08, 20:51

I wrote this piece yesterday, feedback would be appriciated 'cause it's only a first verse..

It aint hard to plan, I attack like army or a ninja clan,
use the beat as a base of artillery, my lines are the cavalery,
every rhyme is part of a strategy
move words like chess pieces, my plan is fresh as a fetus
use pawns/puns and metaphors to protect me
have a queen on my side to be my wify, a horse emblem on my car
'cause King Zu needs to be fast and flashy like a superstar
Some bishop's are dancing b'tween right and left
Rooks walk in a sttraight line thier job to protect
the king's mindstate, 'cause I will let you check your lose mate
I put you in the wait/weight like a phone call,
my plan's caliber is mobile so it suprises y'all,

It's just a loose verse, I was first planing on making a track called ''It aint hard to plan''..
But in some kind of way I find this verse, I dunno, it doesn't feel right..
So any feedback would be really appriciated :flower:
Last edited by mcZu on Sep 18th, '08, 13:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: ''It aint hard to plan''

Postby Emadyville » Sep 17th, '08, 22:43

Different, I liked it. A few minor things could be worked on but not bad.
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Re: ''It aint hard to plan''

Postby mcZu » Sep 19th, '08, 21:00

thanks for the feed :y:
I only feel like it's missing something....well maybe it's just me...But anyways thanks bro :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

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Re: ''It aint hard to plan''

Postby SajN » Sep 19th, '08, 21:05

A good verse yeah :y:
Sometimes I lost the flow, but its ok.

Some small things were the problem, but other than that it was good :y:
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Re: ''It aint hard to plan''

Postby mcZu » Sep 19th, '08, 21:15

^thanks man, I think that's the problem, it doens't flow well in some parts of the verse..
Thanks for the feed :flower:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
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