Chapter One

[JMG]

sometimes i just sit an my mind spins
wonderin where the ticks from the time went
is it that ive been stuck on a dream thats to far to fetch
i really dont know the futures to hard to guess
but deep inside i know i got to make it but time is to thin
and my state of mind is populated by confusion
its poluted an so many demons are screamin
they got tricks up there sleaves an there scheamin
u would think i was on the edge but im hangin from it
above a waitin public as i wait to plumit
and u think there'd be panic
but they dont give a damn if my hands slip

[Emadyville]

Good work. Flow'd a little awkward but I liked the rhymes, has potential if you continue it.

[Solace]

Good work. Flow'd a little awkward but I liked the rhymes, has potential if you continue it.

Pretty much same for me. It was good man, little flow issues, but please do continue.

favourite lines

sometimes i just sit an my mind spins
wonderin where the ticks from the time went

u would think i was on the edge but im hangin from it
above a waitin public as i wait to plumit

If you could, could you check out my peice It's Just Epiphany.

[JMG]

yeah I knew the flow needed to be tighted up some, this only took me about 10 minutes. Once I go over I will fix the flow and add some more. thanks