you'll see my face when you scream (nearly finished)

[ilovemeghan]

heeeey, need help, can sum1 think of a good chorus or hook. coz i cnt come up with one.
cheers.
also need to make the last verse longer

------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Spoken)
Saying I love you, has nothing to do with meaning it
This is not how it was supposed to be
This song is not about you (ha ha)
So you can’t say shit now

(Verse 1)
You told me it was over; I used to be your Casanova (hey baby)
You used to rest your head on my shoulder, write my name on your folder (I love you)
It’s over; you hit me like a lightening hit (shit)
I never thought you’d you dump me quite like this
I’ve never been hit with a strike like this!
I‘ve never seen you turn out a light so quick (bitch)
After that text you became my ex (uh oh)
I’d break my neck to have you stay right next
To me, I see, you don’t love me; well that’s okay (that’s okay)
But now I’m wearing these scars up on display (look at these!)
You used to provoke my laugh (ha ha) but now you broke my heart (oh no)
It’s no joke to laugh I’m in a pain I won’t surpass (never)
You told me you loved me, you’d hold me you’d hug me!
When I was cold you would rub me (I miss it)
But now you’ve gone and you’ve FUCKED ME!
My mind is racing, sometimes it just may seem
My mind is shaking, I’m going crazy
I’m going insane, psychotically unstable
Banging my head on a table, calling my TV a stable
My mind is story telling I’m creating a fable
A story tale, of the girl who was able
To rip my heart out and beat it, chew up it and fucking eat it
Then spew it up and bloody leave it
I hate you, it’s too late to
Go back in time; I need someone to replace you
I always wanted to wait to
Find the right girl to lose my virginity to
And that was you
Because I thought you were the one
But I was just your number two
Shit, you’ve left my throat too numb to chew

(Spoken)
I gave you everything, my whole life, my heart, my soul.
I loved you like no other
But you dropped me, when I trusted you not to
You broke my heart
But
Now you’re all alone, with no one to hold when it gets cold
No one to love
You’ll want me back, I know you will
You can’t stop thinking about me...

(Verse 2)
HAAAAA!
Now do you see!? [Girl screams]
I’m tattooed in your brain you’ll see my face when you SCREAM!
You’ll cry yourself to sleep then you’ll see my face when you DREAM! (Help me!)
You can’t turn around!
You can’t jump and you can’t shout
You can’t run, and you can’t hide!
My name is the name you’re gonna be screaming when you cry!
You’ve CHANGED its insane, you’re going crazy, you’re bawling like a baby (you’re tainted!)
You can’t take it! Your heartbeat is racing, whilst you walk around you’re pacing
You talk about our breaking, you’ve thought about us lately (uh huh)
So when you reminisce, you’ll be regretting what you did (I do!)
And end up wanting another kiss (well fuck you!)
I can’t believe you; for what you ever put me through!
I never thought you’d do what you did, because that was never you! (You’re not who I loved!)
You’re demonic, you sinned, and it’s ironic
How you said you’d never cheat on me, you promised! (“I don’t need to cheat, I have you”)
I persisted to resist you from drinking
What was going through your mind? WHAT the fuck were you thinking?! (I don’t know!)
Come on you do admit, that what you did was truly sick (you fooled me bitch)
I don’t know how I duly picked, a tooly bitch who THREW me, shiiit!
FUUUCK!
I’m so glad, that my pride remains intact
You’re pride is tainted; you’ll never get it back!
One a slut always a slut hmm
You need you figure out your legs, and how to shut them, hmm (slut hmm)
You named ******* a slut (yes you did) but now it’s all gone kaput
Because now the shoe has ended up on the other foot! (Oops)
Hypocritical bitch
I fucking hope you feel the words I’m hitting you with!
I know when you read this; you’ll have a knot in your stomach, a panic attack
But don’t panic, relax (chill)
I still love you very much, but I need to express my emotion
This will cause commotion, but I’m drowning under the ocean
In my own tears, oh dear
You’re reading this song, you think it’s about you don’t you? (Ha ha)
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
Ha haaaaa
Fucking slut.

(Spoken)
Baby why?

(Verse 3)
Just me and you alone, that’s what it was supposed to be! (forever)
But you don’t want my love no more, my heart is froze, you see
Now it don’t even beat (I can’t breathe)
No matter how hard I try to get you, I’ll fail woefully (baby come back)
There’s no hope for me, being your man is what I chose to be
I still think about the love that you used to show to me
And I always reminisce our memories, there are loads to see (I love you)
Love is not a fucking game, its not a joke, I mean
How the fuck could you fuck it up and throw to me
All the trust I gave you, shit, I guess that’s just how it goes for me (history repeats)

(Spoken)
This might creep you out
It might make you angry
You think this song is about you?
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
Ha haaa

[Makaveli525]

Well.

Put this down on the Stan beat and you'll be good to go.

You know, it's alot better than when you just took the words to Stan and added the name "Meghan" into it.

At least you wrote something.

Props... that was creepy... lol

[Urban Punk]

Well based on what you’ve wrote above I think something along the line's of...

"I see you in my dream’s, when you screech when you scream
You broke my heart, you BITCH! You took my self-esteem"

Would be appropriate, though in all honesty I think you should be writing your own hooks. the hook above ant complete though Ill leave it to you to finish