R.H.Y.M.E.S

[Emadyville]

I had this idea and finally wrote it today, really curious what anyone thinks of it. Most of these are one liners, not necessarily a big verse that all flows together, but I think it does have some continuity to it. Feedback please on this on, thanks to all.

Ideas-Internally Decide Every Aspect Spit,
Mines-More Intelligent Never Evade Sick,
Where-We Headed Emerges Real Emotion,
Caused-Cause All Used Skill Emits Devotion,
Real-Relates Everyday Anybody Listens,
Enemies-End New Eras Maybe It Even Sickens,
Pride-Protects Rap In Defensive Ears,
Beef-Because Every Emcees Fierce,
Mics-Manage Illegitimate Concerns Seriously,
Awol-Artists Who Overturned Lyrically,
Tapes-Took Artists Perfecting Every Sound,
Viewed-Very Intense Even We Entered Down,
Into-Incidents Not Totally Ours,
Stats-Showcasing The Artists That’s Stars,
Sales-Slowed And Lost Every Second,
Offer-Often For Few Everytime Records,
Drop-Does Remind Option Producers,
Idol-Intimidates Don’t Overestimate Losers,
Lyrics-Lost You’re Really Into Catchy Shit,
Feels-Flaky Everyone Endangers Lyrics Spit,
When-We Honor Every Newcomer,
You-Yesterday Overestimated Under,
Facts-For Artists Concerned To Save,
Rap-Realistically Actually Paved,
Paths-Please Assist The Honest Saviors,
Fact-Former Artists Constitute Traitors,
Maybe-Me And You Became Entertainers,
Blew-Because Lyricism Exemplified Waivers,
Staff-Stabbed Them And Forgot Favors,
Agent-Acted Good Except Now Tapers,
Scam-Some Commodities At Majors,
Laugh-Loud At Ugly Goddamn Haters,
I am-Intellectually Above Most,
Beware-Because Everything We Are Really Evokes,
Those-That Hate Outta Spite Eventually,
Them-They Haven’t Evolved Mentally...

[James R.]

I love the concept. It doesn't always make sense together, but considering what you're trying to do I don't really fault you for that. Very difficult thing you're trying to do. I like it though. Vocab is still pretty amazing, which is seriously the only reason this worked at all lol. Good job man.

[Emadyville]

I love the concept. It doesn't always make sense together, but considering what you're trying to do I don't really fault you for that. Very difficult thing you're trying to do. I like it though. Vocab is still pretty amazing, which is seriously the only reason this worked at all lol. Good job man.

Thanks man, just pm-ed you to feed this lol, thanks again, and yeah it was tough some words or whatever obviously were slightly stretched but the concept was fucking intense, this took me like a fucking hour and half.

[James R.]

Yeah I wouldn't doubt it. It's impressive that you would even tackle this. You didn't disappoint, bro. Good job.

[Slim Zaddy]

the concept is good ,, flow is nice ,

[mcZu]

The concept is great, and really hard to get on paper and making sense while keeping on rhyming.
But you did well, it still made sense eventhough it isn't a whole verse that connects each line with the following line. The vocab you used is impressive, the rhymes were great.
Only complaint I have ( well not a real complaint ) is that you should had ( just a idea ) enraged all those first words in a logical story/verse.
Like all these words you used:

Ideas Mines Where Caused Real Enemies Pride Beef Mics Awol Tapes Viewed Into Stats Sales Offer Drop Idol Lyrics Feels When You Facts Rap Paths Fact Maybe Blew Staff Agent Scam Laugh I am Beware Those Them

If you like could have enraged them in a specific order or something, that would lead to a logical story which gives a message. Then it would have been perfect.

But it's great as it is, enjoyed reading it and I give you probz for the fact that you tried something dificult as this

[Emadyville]

^ Well I mean the first word get's used in the lyrics, I hope that was understood?

[mcZu]

^yeah that's obvious. And it's great how you did it, but it would have been cool if it had like a side story in it with the first words. Just a thought, it's still sick though

[Emadyville]

^yeah that's obvious. And it's great how you did it, but it would have been cool if it had like a side story in it with the first words. Just a thought, it's still sick though

Haha damn man, I honestly usually write verses in like 15 minutes, this was an hour plus, this shit was hard as fuck, but I think if I really tried that I could maybe get somewhere, but maybe not. All I know is that this would only ever be a verse, at least I think so . But either way, I like your thought. My only problem is that if I decide to put this out as a song, or even on my album, like this or changed, people won't get it just hearing it, I feel like I'd need to explain it before or after the song. I think people would listen and overlook it, that's my problem with this.

[mcZu]

^you could have someone on that track who shouts out the word, then you explain it and so on..
You would be still rhyming, and people would get it immediatly, I hope..

[Emadyville]

^you could have someone on that track who shouts out the word, then you explain it and so on..
You would be still rhyming, and people would get it immediatly, I hope..

Word yo I was thinking that. I think that would work. If I decide to do this for sure I'd definitely work on this and make it as dope as possible.

[mcZu]

I'm looking forward to hear it if you do so