A new day...

[Emadyville]

I wrote this last night into today, I know it's long but there's no hook, the beat sets the mood perfect for this song, feedback is appreciated.

Where do you turn when the shades are drawn,
When there’s no light to see like it fades to dawn,
You have bottled up everything the rage has spawned,
Your life has been shredded every page is gone,
Your friends try to connect it takes days to respond,
And your job is worthless you know the pay is wrong,
You can’t recall the words of your fav-rit song,
Noticing the path you took that they paved it wrong/
So you search for answers in every bad place,
As people start to notice you only show a mad face,
You develop bad intentions and suddenly grab traits,
You’re shoulders are bending all you do is add weights,
Like you’re trying to lift the world even if your back breaks,
You don’t see the sun rising only barren landscapes,
Look yourself in the mirror like this is the mans fate,
Put the barrel to your head scared as your hands shake/
As your life flashes before you and you stop to breathe,
You just cough and weeze then you drop to knees,
You feel lost indeed there’s no other cost to seize,
You’re exhausted please just let your thoughts be eased,
What was brought from greed transferred to selfish,
You didn’t understand so you acted helpless,
You wanted to take your life and that’s not selfless,
What made you this way what hand could have dealt-this/
If you only understood it’s how you play the cards,
Why would you think you should take a spade to heart,
We are all pawns in this game so just play the part,
The skies cloud but in time we all escape the dark,
Maybe you never took a second to contemplate,
How your dad would feel or how your mom-would-hate,
To hear the note you left like you’d bomb-the-wake,
With your last words of how every problem-made,
You drown in a pool of your own self-loathing,
And it didn’t do a thing there was no help-knowing,
That people did care and when they’re in your presence,
Your smile was a gift because it was in the present,
But you didn’t understand the truth of the essence,
That life’s a test and everyday is another lesson,
Was it a girl that had you filled with depression,
Or was it life in general that had your expression/
Caught up and lost like it was hard to mention,
Were you on the wrong path in another dimension,
Or did the bills pile up and have you filled with tension,
Was it the death of a friend you wanted to see in heaven,
But how could that be solved by buying a weapon,
You thought leaving earth would allow you to step-in,
The same shoes they filled but you neglected to question,
What you had left in this life you didn’t count your blessings,
So now this is your chance to start addressing,
The truth of the matter at hand and not messing,
Around with your life because you only have one,
And the answer to life is not a handgun,
How would your parents sleep knowing their damn son,
Wasn’t there to love so believe you can’t run,
Away from the pain you must make adjustments,
Start your life again, take the worst and crush it,
Find the positive and roll with the punches,
Excuse my words but you must feel my bluntness,
A lot of men have fallen but in spirit we lift-them,
God has a plan so when he chose to pick-them,
We must remember their lives and depict-them,
As heroes in our hearts never looked at as victims,
Their girls will never have another chance to kiss them,
And every friend they had just cries as they miss them/
So I cannot make it clearer you’re on a new mission,
This isn’t just for me it’s for everyone who listens,
We have to live out today and let the light glisten,
No more negative thoughts because that just sickens,
There’s a light in every tunnel you just have to envision,
Whether you believe in God or have no religion,
Whoever said an atheist can’t befriend a Christian,
Who said we don’t all have the same visions,
To be loved and love is not an affliction,
It’s why we wake up it’s our only addiction,
It’s the pill we pop when we need a prescription,
It’s the love we always see in every depiction,
I will continue to use this craft to shine light,
Even at times it seems that my mind isn’t right,
So when I stepped in the booth and put the rhymes to the mic,
I hope I made it clear how I will always define my life…

[Big Proof 4ever]

sick shit man

[Emadyville]

sick shit man

Thank you, I hope the length didn't take away from it.

[mcZu]

This is awesome...... Really enjoyed reading it, even though it's quite long it's still sick.
You used a wide vocab there, cause if you hadn't it would have become eventualy boring. But you build it up nice and used some nice multies. Started of strong and ended up strong, all what's in between was more then strong. You sort of builded up the mood by using each brick apart, so eventually your wall became long but yet great. The message you delivered was nicely described in each line, and in the whole song. Wise decision to not put in a hook, cause this is a type of song which would be ruined by putting in a hook.

All I can say is, keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear this song

[Emadyville]

This is awesome...... Really enjoyed reading it, even though it's quite long it's still sick.
You used a wide vocab there, cause if you hadn't it would have become eventualy boring. But you build it up nice and used some nice multies. Started of strong and ended up strong, all what's in between was more then strong. You sort of builded up the mood by using each brick apart, so eventually your wall became long but yet great. The message you delivered was nicely described in each line, and in the whole song. Wise decision to not put in a hook, cause this is a type of song which would be ruined by putting in a hook.

All I can say is, keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear this song

Thanks for the thorough feed man I really appreciate it

[Robbie G]

Good stuff man. It was pretty long but you stayed consistent through the whole thing.

[Emadyville]

^ glad you survived it lol, thanks for the feed