My Queen Has Died. FINISHED

[MC Anonymous]

Sitting alone, the phone rings, the voice is a fitting tone
the words spoken shatters my ribcage, I start spitting bones
I don't believe what I hear, I close my eyes to shut the years
but my fear overpowers, as the hours reveal the words so clear
in this burning sphere my life has died, as fate's knife sliced wide
the words I heard switched emotion as the strife swiped sides
my life, does it matter anymore? the blood splatters on the doors
scatters some more as it drips, I take my fist and shatter the door
my queen has died, you all killed her, through your lyrics you willed her
and instead of nursing the wounded, you lyrically drilled her
to the point the fuel of the fire expired, the desire to prosper diminished
and now we are left with bitches who go in the wound and remove the stitches
they watch her bleed, cover her body with blotchy deeds
sadly to me I can't weed out or remove the worthless seeds
her surfaced needs must be corrected before recovery can take place
so make haste, for this is race can only be won with a pure face.

As we proceed to heal what was said to be dead
you better be careful, they might put lead in your head
they're afraid of intelligent speech, so just let your relevance reach
and touch those who need it, just let your elegance preach
let these messages of redemption to our queen be heard
you seen the words, now act on it, let our movie scene be first
the thirst of reform has been bleeding through our veins and pores
insane of course! revolutionaries know their train and course
the pain of force beckons to those who miss the Golden Era
smolder embers of passion overpowers the olden terror
let us retake our thrown, let their mistakes be known
for now our sake has grown, we can make every foundation they had be blown
for the real MC's, this song is dedicated to you
I put all of the pieces together, I pre-meditated the clues
now it's up to you to head this warning, overthrow the fakers
decide to be one of the givers, not one of the takers.

[Emadyville]

I don't have time to read right now, just making sure I don't forget, so I'll come through and do so later today.

Edit: Very powerful second verse, the ending was well done. Overall I thought it had some weak lines that somewhat strayed from what you were trying to say, but at the same time your message kind of made that irrelevant, so I mean, I guess it's a tough call. The beginning was a great way to open it, I felt like you had at least 5 stand out lines in there. Rhyming was as always on point. I didn't like the hook though, I'd go for something more simple that gets the message across. Anyway, great concept great work

[MC Anonymous]

I don't have time to read right now, just making sure I don't forget, so I'll come through and do so later today.

Alright bro

[Requiem]

that's some sick shit man first verse kinda lost me cuz u put too much in a sentence. but once i got the overall flow, i was able to delve into the pain u were experiencing. good job
chorus i didn't like so much, but the second verse made up for all of that. i mean, i was blown away by how powerful it was. awesome man

[MC Anonymous]

that's some sick shit man first verse kinda lost me cuz u put too much in a sentence. but once i got the overall flow, i was able to delve into the pain u were experiencing. good job
chorus i didn't like so much, but the second verse made up for all of that. i mean, i was blown away by how powerful it was. awesome man

Thanks dude!

[mcZu]

Not bad, liked the message, your vocab is as usual ( which is sick )
Hook was a bit corny imo, could be a lil'bit more catchy, something abit simpler to let the listner absorb what he/she just heard. First verse started sick, kinda of faded a bit away at some lines, but still it's good. Second verse ended sick, nice way to end the verse

Overall a sick piece of work, nice job

[MC Anonymous]

Not bad, liked the message, your vocab is as usual ( which is sick )
Hook was a bit corny imo, could be a lil'bit more catchy, something abit simpler to let the listner absorb what he/she just heard. First verse started sick, kinda of faded a bit away at some lines, but still it's good. Second verse ended sick, nice way to end the verse

Overall a sick piece of work, nice job

Thanks! =)

[Ka0t1c]

it's great! 10/10 but u have a few typos so for extra credit, can u spot the mistakes? lol

[MC Anonymous]

it's great! 10/10 but u have a few typos so for extra credit, can u spot the mistakes? lol

Thanks! I didn't notice any typo's lol.

[Solace]

Dude that was just fucking awesome. Just...Just... You have so much nice multies and wordplay its great. Favourite lines:

"Sitting alone, the phone rings, the voice is a fitting tone
the words spoken shatters my ribcage, I start spitting bones"

"my queen has died, you all killed her, through your lyrics you willed her
and instead of nursing the wounded, you lyrically drilled her
to the point the fuel of the fire expired, the desire to prosper diminished
and now we are left with bitches who go in the wound and remove the stitches"

"for the real MC's, this song is dedicated to you
I put all of the pieces together, I pre-meditated the clues"


10/10

[MC Anonymous]

Dude that was just fucking awesome. Just...Just... You have so much nice multies and wordplay its great. Favourite lines:

"Sitting alone, the phone rings, the voice is a fitting tone
the words spoken shatters my ribcage, I start spitting bones"

"my queen has died, you all killed her, through your lyrics you willed her
and instead of nursing the wounded, you lyrically drilled her
to the point the fuel of the fire expired, the desire to prosper diminished
and now we are left with bitches who go in the wound and remove the stitches"

"for the real MC's, this song is dedicated to you
I put all of the pieces together, I pre-meditated the clues"


10/10

Thanks bro! Glad you enjoyed it :]

[MC Anonymous]

Your best piece yet. Very emotional, very well written. Flow - perfect. Lyrics - perfect.

10/10

Thanks bro! Always a pleasure to receive such great feedback.

[SajN]

Damn, it's all perfect!

Shadymademe summed it all up for me though, so I dont know what more to say

[James R.]

Nice track man. I'm really feelin it. love the vocab and the multies. Good rhyming good content good everything. Keep droppin, bro.