Coleon - Smiling Down

[Slim Zaddy]

well i think it will fit more on audio, but nah bro i know this is not your best , i dont care about it lyrically cuz it supposed to be an emotional song , but you dont have much emotions , plus structure need to be fixed , so it will be easy for us to rap it out , this can be done much better by you , and i know you can , but you're just a lazy ass lol .,

[neversnooze]

this was a sweet and short write, poetic. like z_em said there wasnt much emotion in it. when i say you lack emotion let us feel it, not make and tell us.

for example,

when you died so young
i felt my chest tighten

anyways sorry about your loss, i suppose you posted it for criticism and review so thats what i am sharing with you.
7/10

[Slim Zaddy]

well i think it will fit more on audio, but nah bro i know this is not your best , i dont care about it lyrically cuz it supposed to be an emotional song , but you dont have much emotions , plus structure need to be fixed , so it will be easy for us to rap it out , this can be done much better by you , and i know you can , but you're just a lazy ass lol .,

I would really appreciate it if you would not comment with that, not emotional? my sister is DEAD stfu

i know man it's your sister, i really feel soory for you , i will let it slide for the stfu word , cuz i know it come out cuz you were angry for your sister , but really for me i didn’t feel it with you , what i mean you must let us feel what you're feeling by your verse and that's what you lack here , it's doesn’t have to be emotional cuz you just said it's about your sister ,so what ever you wrote in here it's emotional nope bro,,, for instance (To H.E.R. wih Love) piece you wrote earlier , its has much more emotions than this one , it's for you sister i know you have much emotions inside much in your chest , but it's hard to get it out of chest ..that's not easy i'm with you ,, maybe that's why ,,, anyway god bless her homie ,, gd luck for you and ya keep it up ..

when i say you lack emotion let us feel it, not make and tell us.

for example,

when you died so young
i felt my chest tighten

anyways sorry about your loss, i suppose you posted it for criticism and review so thats what i am sharing with you.

excatly ,,, anyway may god help you bro .. it's tough i know

[gutawafang]

FLOW - 10/10
STRUCTURE - 9/10
PUNCHES - 7/10
MULTIES - 10/10
RHYMES - 9/10
VOCAB - 8/10
COMPLEXITY - 9/10

YEAH, I could flow to this shit. I like this shit man. WOOHOO.