Rage of the Pen III

[JamaicanPattlez]

Thanks y'all! Lol, was the Asian line THAT bad? Damn. Hahah oh well!

[Words]

You see, you can't give a shit if you're emotionally constipated,

^Best line imo. The very beginning of the verse ("I never found love....constipated") was an outstanding portion. Not to say the rest wasn't good, I'll get to that.

Overall I liked this, the only bit that confused me at first was the "Asian chick" thing. I stumbled over it a little trying to figure it out on my first couple read-throughs. It was lyrically sound, with some great wordplay (I already mentioned some in my favorite line.) I really can't find anything wrong with this. Should've vented a bit more and made it longer, my only critique.

[JamaicanPattlez]

You see, you can't give a shit if you're emotionally constipated,

^Best line imo. The very beginning of the verse ("I never found love....constipated") was an outstanding portion. Not to say the rest wasn't good, I'll get to that.

Overall I liked this, the only bit that confused me at first was the "Asian chick" thing. I stumbled over it a little trying to figure it out on my first couple read-throughs. It was lyrically sound, with some great wordplay (I already mentioned some in my favorite line.) I really can't find anything wrong with this. Should've vented a bit more and made it longer, my only critique.

Thanks man, really appreciate the feedback! Btw, check out my So Appalled written, if you would be so kind.