Vigilante

[ArsheyHaq]

On some retarded shit..

I'm alone, am I supposed to be sad?/
I'm a sociopath!/
Shit, I couldn't get close to you or emotionally attached/
even if I'd been visited by ghosts from the past,/
future, and present! I've chosen my path/
It's why I'm toastin' a glass/
to a room full o' cardboard cutouts and puppets made from paper grocery bags/
I was always the type that's been so candid/
panicked and pissed at this whole planet, wrists both bandaged/
kept to myself and was easily confused for a schizophrenic,/
a manic, I dance with the devil cuz I find the bitch romantic/
put down your fists, I've got a pistol planted/
and I'm ready to cause some visceral damage/
get me six more Xanax or Imma get so frantic/
you'll regret that you ever took your kids for granted/
shit, a digital camera's visuals couldn't catch this vigilante!!/




viewtopic.php?f=24&t=107238

[Mahmoud48]

i like it

[ArsheyHaq]

Thanks, highly appreciated

[Block]

Who are you.......

This was too good for you to be new......

Flow, rhyme scheme, "advanced" multies.. Good piece. Although, it was about nothing, it was still dope. Nice drop.

[Maybe]

Not bad, but not great, either. It needs some work, but like k-block said above, it has all of the necessary components.

You have flow, multies and a vision, but you lack proper imagery. The piece feels empty of content, and the "punches"--or whatever you want to call them-- somehow stumble messily along the otherwise smooth surface of the rhyme-scheme.

If I had to stamp a number on this, I would rate it a 8/10. You could easily mold this in to a 10/10 if you turn on your (obviously present) imaginative side, and spark up the content level.

Otherwise, good drop.