SaJJad - Space Capsule

[Xray]

More of a poem than a rap... Did this after I wrote a god damn story for the first time in my life, and I honestly feel I nailed that story, I'll post it once I'm done, could use some editing, but been writing for like...3 hours straight. Wrote this verse in 30. My fastest verse in AGES!

You wake up tied to a chair, barely breathing with tape.
You try to rock yourself for air, from this discomforting pain.
You look around you, but it's dark. You try to scream, but you can't...
You start to cry...tears of a lonely broken man.
You feel as if your eyes, are shallowing your brain...
You tilt your head back and fourth... You feel displaced.
Cause the last thing you saw was a door, shutting in your face.
And then you see the lights like you've never seen it rise.
A shadow sits tied, a battle not a fight.
You feel like this is life yet, so eager to die.
Cause when the lights are off, you always wonder why.
Travel's through your thoughts, evil was the cause.
Handle all the force till it dismantles you to loss.
You ball with the gods, till you fall and pull your hocks.
Hawks arrive at the spot, and lift you right off your socks.
Cause time flogs you, till you live with a clock in a space capsule.

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=109200&p=1547213#p1547213

[macdaddy019967]

feels like a riddle to me, but its good.
collab time is coming
im ready for my next piece when you are xray

[Xray]

I don't collab with wack mafuckers. No offense.

[macdaddy019967]

I don't collab with wack mafuckers. No offense.

thought we were like peanut butter and jelly?

[Xray]

I don't collab with wack mafuckers. No offense.

thought we were like peanut butter and jelly?

What does friendship got to do with collabing?

You are not an artist, I only collab with artists.

Tired as fuck, I'm going to sleep. Peace.

[Block]

I don't collab with wack mafuckers. No offense.

I loled.


I liked the concept of this, dude. It has more of a poem flow than a rap flow (atleast how I read it). Nothing was overly complex, but everything fit well. It seems pretty abstract in comparison to most of your work.

And then you see the lights like you've never seen it rise.
A shadow sits tied, a battle not a fight.
You feel like this is life yet, so eager to die.

Those 3 lines I liked the most, for some reason.

[Maybe]

Poetically, this piece was reminiscent of the works of Shel Silverstein (only it rhymed better, obviously), with similar imagery and subtle storytelling, expressed in an emotional context.

I'm impressed, mainly because this is quite an evolution from your past work (that I've seen). Great read, great drop, great work overall.