This is for the real folks...

[Maybe]

Down for editing.

Feedback I be givin'
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=109818

[Block]

Ahh, this is getting slept on. Again, dope shit bro. Simple but not simple. A paradox. Hmm...

Everything fits amazingly well for how fast you wrote it. I can't wait to record this collab. My nuts are tingling at the thought of the beautiful music we are going to make. Orgasms over instrumentals. <<< NEW EP NAME ???? lol

[Maybe]

Ahh, this is getting slept on. Again, dope shit bro. Simple but not simple. A paradox. Hmm...

Everything fits amazingly well for how fast you wrote it. I can't wait to record this collab. My nuts are tingling at the thought of the beautiful music we are going to make. Orgasms over instrumentals. <<< NEW EP NAME ???? lol

Sounds like something we'd do, honestly. Lol... Thanks man, and it'll make a sick song.


Stop sleeping on my shiznit assholes, I always leave good feedback.

[MikeNUFC]

This was really well executed in terms of flow and rhyming. Some inventive rhymes ("broker peeps/groceries", "diapers and the gerber/life sentence for murder" - the latter is amazing).

Also great how it all fits together and links really nicely within the structure

My only complaint would be it's slightly cliche.

And

this is an anthem for the folks without insurance...
an anthem for the folks without a furnace....

didn't rhyme at all for me - but thats probably an accent thing.

[Xray]

Damn bro, that was truly art. Not many people rap about this kind of stuff anymore, and it's what made hip hop so good. Just relating to shit. I can relate to this 100%. That was easily the realest verse I've read on here. Your rhymes were impossible to make any smoother. It was perfectly said.

These lines are my fav cause their basically my life lol.

This is for the dudes smoking weed in the backseat,
driving middle-class cars, working at a factory...

Let's hear it for the broker peeps...
the ones that gotta rent a home and can't afford their groceries,

the ones that think they're haunted by the ghost of their past,
until they find that it's a torn sheet, with holes in the back,

I'm talking bout' the people with a troubling existence...
the ones you only see because they stumble in the distance...

Would love to hear this recorded, excellent work bro. 10/10.

[Maybe]

Damn bro, that was truly art. Not many people rap about this kind of stuff anymore, and it's what made hip hop so good. Just relating to shit. I can relate to this 100%. That was easily the realest verse I've read on here. Your rhymes were impossible to make any smoother. It was perfectly said.

These lines are my fav cause their basically my life lol.

This is for the dudes smoking weed in the backseat,
driving middle-class cars, working at a factory...

Let's hear it for the broker peeps...
the ones that gotta rent a home and can't afford their groceries,

the ones that think they're haunted by the ghost of their past,
until they find that it's a torn sheet, with holes in the back,

I'm talking bout' the people with a troubling existence...
the ones you only see because they stumble in the distance...

Would love to hear this recorded, excellent work bro. 10/10.

There's a song called "Whats love got to do with it". Let me tell you what bro, love has EVERYTHING to do with it. Haha, thanks for the feedback man, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

@MikeNUFC: Thanks man, I really appreciate the feedback. Sometimes with subject matters like this, it becomes nearly impossible not to be a little cliche.

[mcZu]

I agree that it might be simple in terms of not being poetic and overly complex, however, it takes skill to write something that smooth. Simple yet complex.

I agree with Mike, though. That insurance/a furnace rhyme didn't flow that good to me. It does rhyme, but it didn't fit in with the rhyme scheme. But, I guess, it depends on how you actually flow it to the beat you wrote it to...

Nice verse.