just a letter

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 08:48

my dearest beloved,
theres so much to say, but i cant seem to find the words. things have changed so much over the last few months, it feels as tho my life has just been scattered in little peices and carried off in the wind. i cant live anymore, i only exist. i just dont get it. we used to be so happy, but now it feels like ur gone. im just so far from u, and i feel so isolated, it just feels akward and uncomfortable. i used to be able to tell u anything, and now i feel like i cant say nothing. i mean, it hurts so bad it makes me sick to my stomach. i feel as tho ive lost my best friend, and alls i can do is just pace and brood.
i would give anything to be with you.to taste your lips and touch your face. to feel your heart beat next to mine. to feel the warmth of your breath on my neck and rest peacefully in the safety of your arms. i would trade an entire lifetime for just 5 minits with you. just to know that you were real and that you truely loved me, and be able to take one last breath of releif and content befor i faded into death. only then could i ever die happy.
but that time will never come. i shall never know the joy of your touch or the devine taste of your lips... or the warmth of your embrace. i will never be able to rest my head on your chest and listen to your heart beat, knowing that it was beating for me and me alone. i will never be part of your life. you will always be in a different world, miles away from mine. a world that i can only dream of.... sumthing to anticipate, but never really knowing what it is i was seeking. it is a mystery that i can never be a part of. and it hurts so bad. im slowly dying inside with the reallity that we can never be. i go for days without sleep, i barely eat.... i can feel myself slowly slipping away, and your not here to pull me back. my heart aches for you and my soul bleeds for you. its like im drowning and theres no one to save me. its as if my world is crumbling beneath me, and i keep looking up, hoping to see ur face, but alls i see are shaddows as i slip further into the cracks.
never in my life have i wanted anything more. and never in my life has anything seemed so out of reach. alls i do is dream of the two of us together, finally at last... that one moment when all my days of waiting and all my hopes and dreams and struggles will finally pay off. that one moment when i am finally with you, and i know i always will be. but i feel as tho that day will never come, and so all my waiting has been done in vain. i seem to be stuck, and theres nothing you can do... so theres nothing to fix my perdiciment. i am, and always will be a prisioner of your love...

love always,
anna marie

by **ines** » Apr 27th, '06, 08:56

nice to read it girl

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 09:11

ines wrote:nice to read it girl

thnx

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 09:18

Sarah wrote:Awww, that was so sad . You're not getting much sleep hun? Aww, I'm sorry. All the best to you Anna, hope you get better

no... right now its 4:15 in the morning... i havent slept right in weeks.... im sick in my stomach and i cant quit crying...... and wats worse i didnt talk to him tonight.... it just makes me feel shittier

i feel like im dying, and im just worried sick about wats gonna happen... i dont know, its like.... i donno........ i just wish i was with him right now... i just wanna curl up in a little ball next to him and go to sleep and not wake up for a week

by **ines** » Apr 27th, '06, 09:32

are you better right now hunney, hope so.

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 09:47

Sarah wrote:
> Evil _ MoNkEy < wrote:
Sarah wrote:Awww, that was so sad . You're not getting much sleep hun? Aww, I'm sorry. All the best to you Anna, hope you get better

no... right now its 4:15 in the morning... i havent slept right in weeks.... im sick in my stomach and i cant quit crying...... and wats worse i didnt talk to him tonight.... it just makes me feel shittier i feel like im dying, and im just worried sick about wats gonna happen... i dont know, its like.... i donno........ i just wish i was with him right now... i just wanna curl up in a little ball next to him and go to sleep and not wake up for a week

Awww so sad to hear that you're so down. I just wish I could do something to cheer you up . I really don't know what to do. I just hope you get better soon, and hopefully get some more sleep and back into your routine. I understand how you feel though. But just remember, everyone goes through these stages of our lives. It's just one of those things that happen, we get down and we just have to get through it, you know? Remember we're always here for ya though when you need to chat

u already did sumthin to cheer me up... u gave me a shout out

lol

but ya, i know u guys r here for me... thats the only reason i stayed, lol... i stopped listening to rap all together about 5 months ago, lol.. but i stayed at tr cus i really like the people, and i know i always got sumone to talk to... u and TiGGi r like, the only 2 im really like, close 2 tho... i really dont tell neone else too much.......

but i know ill get better... as my mom tells me "im just love sick" and ive heard the saying before... but i never really thought it actually made u sick... i just thought it was an expression, u know..... aparently i was wrong, lol

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 10:35

Sarah wrote:
> Evil _ MoNkEy < wrote:u already did sumthin to cheer me up... u gave me a shout out lol

but ya, i know u guys r here for me... thats the only reason i stayed, lol... i stopped listening to rap all together about 5 months ago, lol.. but i stayed at tr cus i really like the people, and i know i always got sumone to talk to... u and TiGGi r like, the only 2 im really like, close 2 tho... i really dont tell neone else too much.......

but i know ill get better... as my mom tells me "im just love sick" and ive heard the saying before... but i never really thought it actually made u sick... i just thought it was an expression, u know..... aparently i was wrong, lol

I think everyone gets love sick at some stage of their life. But don't worry

I'm glad I cheered you up with the shoutout. I couldn't ever forget ya, thats impossible lol

And I understand why you stayed here. It's addictive huh? lol It don't matter if you don't listen to rap, we don't care. I spend most of my time in backstage anyway lol

Well, its good to see you've cheered up a lil, and I hope your ok and get through this time. I know it must be hard, but do remember....there is someone special out there for you. Keep that in mind

i know theres sumone special out there for me, lol... thats who i wrote it about... but the problem is he lives 4 freakin states away...... and its just... its hard.... and... wait.... do u know nethng about this? :unsure:

i know TiGGis knows, cus her and nick... theyr doin the long distance computer thing too... i think thats y we get along so well, cus were both in the same boat kinda..... but nick lives in ohio, and shes in north carolina......... so, its kinda reverse, lol........ but um.... i dont think i ever told u... so, for the past couple weeks ive been spilling my heart out and u probly have no freakin clue wtf ive been rambling on about, lol..... im sorry.... um... no, um... its not like i like him but he dont like me kinda deal.....

and i know u could never forget me... sumone as weird and demonic as me tends to stick out in ur mind, lol :twisted:

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 11:34

Sarah wrote:
> Evil _ MoNkEy < wrote:i know theres sumone special out there for me, lol... thats who i wrote it about... but the problem is he lives 4 freakin states away...... and its just... its hard.... and... wait.... do u know nethng about this? i know TiGGis knows, cus her and nick... theyr doin the long distance computer thing too... i think thats y we get along so well, cus were both in the same boat kinda..... but nick lives in ohio, and shes in north carolina......... so, its kinda reverse, lol........ but um.... i dont think i ever told u... so, for the past couple weeks ive been spilling my heart out and u probly have no freakin clue wtf ive been rambling on about, lol..... im sorry.... um... no, um... its not like i like him but he dont like me kinda deal.....

and i know u could never forget me... sumone as weird and demonic as me tends to stick out in ur mind, lol

Yeah, I knew what you were talking about....

o... so.. u know about the um... shall we say, soap opra that is my life..... i mean, i just thought cus the way u said, theres sumone special out there for me that u didnt know..... but ya, i guess everyone pretty much dos... as much as ive run my big fat mouth, lol

by **Ivy** » Apr 27th, '06, 20:10

Oh Anna. Just remember, I'm always there :console:

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 27th, '06, 21:25

TaylorakaTiGGi wrote::'( Oh Anna. Just remember, I'm always there

ya... i know.... and sarah... i dont want nobody else :'(

by **> Evil _ MoNkEy <** » Apr 28th, '06, 00:23

memyselforwho wrote:ummm is this about or to that same guy, from the net, oh im sorry then if it is, but i said this once and il say it again, some of you get to tied up in online relationships, and thats not enough for boys, they need acctual physical touch, if its not, i take what i said back, im so sorry for you, but i cant help ypu out much, except moral support

um... thanks... and, yes... its about the same dude... but i need physical touch too u know. i mean... i even say it in the letter..... but, not a nasty kind of touch, lol......... and i know online things rarely work out.,... amd im afraid im gonna learn my lesson the hard way. but ive made my choice, and theres no turning back now...... wat ever happens happens, im a big girl, i can make my own decions... and if i get burned, i get burned... another lesson learned

just a letter

just a letter

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