The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 00:55

Geno Feed~ viewtopic.php?f=24&t=121075
BShady Feed~ viewtopic.php?f=24&t=121531
C.R.E.A.M Feed~ viewtopic.php?f=24&t=121623
Beat~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tokWR79F ... re=related





Hook:

If I gave a fuck, I would've given up,
No fucks given, not a nut has bust,
If I gave a fuck, I would've watched my luck,
No fucks given, fuck you if you don't like my stuff.

BShady14 wrote:I don't give a fuck if you don't like me, It doesn't bother me,
Never had the right mom, and I never had a fucking dad to father me,
Walk around with my beanie on and my hoodie up,
Never give a fuck, fuck you up and your queenie mom.
If you're not in my circle of friends, I could careless if something happens,
Trust me I'll be able to sleep at night, and I Will keep on rappin,
There's like 10-15 people I care for deeply, so if you die,
My only wish is that you rest in peace B,
I will not cry, for a life I was never involved in,
Just keep on working on me, Yup, Keep Evolving!
Look at all the problems you could've been solving,
By just not giving a fuck, dog, you would have no issues,
No trouble sleeping at night, no crying into tissues,
Like me, I only help my friends out, if you're not one,
You're done, fuck you , I help my self now!
Don't really keep in touch with many people,
Some consider me evil, even deceitful,
but that's okay, I could give a fuckless,
Lyrical trinity, will be a motherfucking success,
As for "No fucks given" No gurantees,
But "Oh shucks, who gives a fuck, Geez."



(Hook)

C.R.E.A.M wrote:Criticizing my actions and thinking that I'm dangerous
I'll bang your bus on your way to your school, yeah i'm traitorous
Cause i'm the one who's driving your bus in the fucking first place
I'm planting my nuts seeds to the ground where yo bird ate
I'm rated the worst rate, and you're dying the worst way
I'me face-front and yellow, but I got my wise verse sprayed
This is verb' rape, I must be damned from now
Well I don't give a fuck except your anus, bitch! go BLAOW!
I used to be real bored 'till my new life was born
Not giving a fuck just blew nines out my door
I was about to take a suicide cause these people doesn't like me
Well fuck it now, alright B ? Fuck them, go and bite me
I rap explicit and diss faggots, i'm 'bout menacing
Now witness my fists while I rap and go enter this
Cause if I ever offended you you probably deserved it
Now stop your missions and admire while being worthless




(Hook)


Geno wrote:No fucks given since the day I was love stricken,
My guts riddled with some dumb shit and I begun trippin',
Spittin' such twisted thoughts as they appear in my brain,
I'll make sure when you hear 'em you'll never be sleepin' again,
Whether you dream or you can't, remember I will be haunting you,
With a song or two for all of you who still sing in autotune
And I'll follow through like a stalker moving in silence,
Then create my own religion and start disproving all science,
I'll uproot a small child from it's environment and hide with it,
Disguised as twins as I ditch it and tell the mom that I'm her kid,
"Ew, Geno you're vile, sick, and you just lost another fan,
The only time I'll bump you man is when you drop a summer jam"
I'd sooner practice backflips while trippin' on hallucinogenic acid,
Join the military and begin kissin' all the lieutenants asses,
I'm a lunatic, a bastard, and I've made it my mission to cuss,
You know why? Because Geno just doesn't give a fuck
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Ka0t1c » Aug 10th, '11, 01:10

seemed like you guys really didn't give a fuck :laughing:

it went from bad to good

Geno had the best verse on this imo, it was pretty fluid, and made sense, great writing on it

"I was about to take a suicide cause these people doesn't like me"

need to fix that line, it isn't proper grammar
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
User avatar
Ka0t1c
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3919
Joined: Nov 16th, '05, 08:28
Location: Hell, Room #5150
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 02:24

Yeah, my verse was wack
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Man1x » Aug 10th, '11, 18:55

Well, I'd have to agree with
Menzo wrote:Geno fuckin murked this, wow.

You all did good, but Geno's was the clear standout.

B, I think you gotta try getting a bit more complex and start using internals more, like someone said in the other LT song, you paint a good picture and if you could add a few more multies in there, it'll be hella dope :y:

Cream, these were my favourite parts:

"I'm rated the worst rate, and you're dying the worst way
I'me face-front and yellow, but I got my wise verse sprayed
This is verb' rape"

and

"I rap explicit and diss faggots, i'm 'bout menacing
Now witness my fists while I rap and go enter this
Cause if I ever offended you you probably deserved it
Now stop your missions and admire while being worthless"

Great use of assonance, it was silky smooth flow too (for both parts) :y:

And back to Geno, homie you just gave me the biggest fuckin smurk haha, that was fuckin ILL. That's all I gotta say, sick flow and funny lines like kissing lieutenants asses :y:

Love it.


Geno's just was the best out of these three, flow was good and good mutli's. It was also pretty funny. How long does it take to write a verse like that?
#TeamK.Dot
#TeamYeezy
#TeamBigM
Image
User avatar
Man1x
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4980
Joined: May 27th, '11, 04:02

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Man1x » Aug 10th, '11, 18:59

Geno wrote:30-45 minutes, depending on the concept.

And thanks a lot. :worship:


Dang, I guess i'll have to put my mind to it and sit down longer with mine. I always assumed people just wrote dope shit in 5 minutes and either you have it or you don't
#TeamK.Dot
#TeamYeezy
#TeamBigM
Image
User avatar
Man1x
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4980
Joined: May 27th, '11, 04:02

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 19:17

Eminememy wrote:
Geno wrote:30-45 minutes, depending on the concept.

And thanks a lot. :worship:


Dang, I guess i'll have to put my mind to it and sit down longer with mine. I always assumed people just wrote dope shit in 5 minutes and either you have it or you don't

Oh no,

A excellent artist can write one verse in 30 minutes,

A great one can write a verse and edit it several times in a couple of days.

I put this song out in 5 minutes,

Geno is excellent, me and C.R.E.A.M Are great In my opinion. on this song I was in a rush.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby WakeUpShow » Aug 10th, '11, 19:37

Geno...you tore this piece a new asshole. To cream and B, sorry but these verse seem like the same old from you two.
User avatar
WakeUpShow
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3168
Joined: Apr 17th, '10, 17:13
Location: America
Gender: Female

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Innovation » Aug 10th, '11, 22:36

Good verses all round, good job! :y:

Geno, you took this in my opinion. As usual your rhyming was solid and on point. I loved the part where your fan spoke to you, it reminded me so much of Eminem during his SSLP days. I'm pretty sure that inspired you? Once again, great verse, some very witty lines and an enjoyable read.

C.R.E.A.M you're finally structuring your verses better! Dude, you were structuring your verses fantastically in Dropbox, stick to it! It makes it much, much easier to read and to catch the multi's. Your verse was also solid, man you've come along way since we first started our mass collaborations haha. Awesome verse, some solid multi's in there. I though this punchline was very impressive also. "I'm planting my nuts seeds to the ground where yo bird ate"

BShady14, your verse was pretty good. You just send to keep a solid structure so it's easier to read which will have a positive effect on the flow. Like Geno and C.R.E.A.M, your verse was also pretty good. Again, pretty good rhyming although I think you could work on your rhyme transitioning. Other than that, it was a good drop.

How about Lyrical Trinity feat Innovation? :flutter:

Aha, good job guys. Good drops from all of ya. :b:
User avatar
Innovation
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3269
Joined: Oct 14th, '10, 08:28
Location: UK
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 23:16

Geno wrote:Innovation could hop on the one Menzo's on.

The beat is big enough for one more.

Support this.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 23:37

I changed my mind and started writing.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby J.R. » Aug 10th, '11, 23:45

Geno wrote::worship:

It's lyrical, so basically it's really just random lyrical rhyming onslaught, which is my whole verse lols.
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Sam. » Aug 11th, '11, 12:54

BShady14 : Pretty nice there ,flow was the thing I liked the most about your piece IMO,some lines seemed forced to me like this one “Never give a fuck, fuck you up and your queenie mom” and “Like me, I only help my friends out, if you're not one,” other wise it was all good ,one last advice stop using the word B to rhyme man ,irritates .

C.R.E.A.M: Looks like u based the whole verse on yourself ,it was funny at places and ws serious at places to ,but man :coffee: please if your writing on yourself stop using I’m so much does not look nice .

Geno:Best of the bunch ,dope shit man I thing the only thing I did not like is the random flip of lines in the same bar ,that made no sense as compared to the previous line

Some on them are :
And I'll follow through like a stalker moving in silence,
Then create my own religion and start disproving all science,


I'd sooner practice backflips while trippin' on hallucinogenic acid,
Join the military and begin kissin' all the lieutenants asses,
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
Image
Image
User avatar
Sam.
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16630
Joined: Jun 7th, '10, 11:10
Location: India
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby Sam. » Aug 12th, '11, 11:32

Geno wrote:What you mean by random flips? Sorry, just a little confusing lol.

See the bars that i highlighted ,unlike your previous bars like this one ..
I'll make sure when you hear 'em you'll never be sleepin' again,
Whether you dream or you can't, remember I will be haunting you,

..The 1st line has some relation with the second one ,hope you get this point [too technical feed i know].
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
Image
Image
User avatar
Sam.
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 16630
Joined: Jun 7th, '10, 11:10
Location: India
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Aug 12th, '11, 11:34

Real beast, you guys! I thought it was dope, especially Geno's verse. Shit, I wanna write like that! :y:
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

Image
User avatar
JamaicanPattlez
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2656
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 05:57
Gender: Male

Re: Lyrical Trinity~ No Fucks Given

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Aug 13th, '11, 02:46

Geno wrote:Thanks a lot homie. You wanna write like me? lol. That's a big compliment. :worship:


Course it is, man, I give respect to where it's due! :y:
Horsebot3K wrote:
Usernamesarehard wrote:My dick is going in your mouth whether you like it or not bipolar fuck boy.

Image
User avatar
JamaicanPattlez
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2656
Joined: Dec 26th, '10, 05:57
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users