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My Life...A True story

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My Life...A True story

Postby J.R. » Sep 2nd, '11, 22:12

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124314&p=1744867#p1744867 -Feed This is based on something that happened very..recently.

[Verse 1]
Well, this is how I was Cheated and hurt, Hoped I'd be Seeing your shirt, or the knees in your skirt, Walkin with you in the field, thinking Bees are the worst, Haters? Let's keep feeding em dirt,
Friends intentions changed, Warned me about love, started mentioning chains, I'm going insane,
hoping we'd say we Snuggled again, Lord knows I'm troubled again, Always struggled with sins,
You used to say I was your most beloved of men, you said above all others, I was hovering then,
You said I was the Best you had, So I was Resting glad, Now the heartbeat in my Chest is fast,
Kids saying you need Sessions dad, I was failing my Lessons bad, and I had Lessened my glad,
I was Stressing the sad, Second guessing my dad, Love? You said it was all I had.
We Used to say it was Forever and always, But I got the leftovers from all day,
So I left for a trip, and you yell Aww stay! But I gotta go before Fall babe,
Right then, God had given a sign, Adultery was definitely Not a sin in her mind .


[Chorus]
My life a true story,
Fuck you and sue Maury,
I don't need no help with no personal issues,
If you could pass this person a tissue.

[Verse 2]
When I came back, saw another guy Holding your hand, All this time you had me Sold I'm your man,
Fuck my ground, I'm folding my stand, Let our relationshit explode on the fan..
Do you see where she is now? We let our relationship fizz down, like a soda can,
You used to look at me with Eyes of love, My Minds above, since not a hearts enough,
Now you walk around hugging and Starting stuff, Meanwhile I feel like I should be Restarting us,
Friends telling me no go, for the dumb hoe, I ain't a fucking bum though,
Know when to go, the addition is your blow , but love is the sum bro,
Hiding in my hood, Sitting on the bus,
Dying, should I be quitting or giving up?
Here's a Fun fact, Your dumb black hair makes the sun crack,
Now I've Shunned back,I was Stunned bad, Wishing I could Run back,
I guess it's time I give Up Hope, It'll make you Tougher than you know.
I've been burnt like a pizza in the stove, and now, fuck it, I'm ready to blow..

(Outro)
*Sirens*
Fire department..We have a burned down dream,
It's been crushed to bits,
The memories and dreams, been fucked to shit....
*Buzzes out*.
Last edited by J.R. on Sep 13th, '12, 21:04, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby SG. » Sep 3rd, '11, 10:29

I like the storytelling aspect, but you need to work on the structure.

And that's a great hook. :y:

Return the favour?
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby J.R. » Sep 3rd, '11, 18:25

thanks :y:
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby Man1x » Sep 4th, '11, 01:19

Agree to working on structure, I liked your use of multis though! Flow was decent as well.

Feed?: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124536
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby J.R. » Sep 4th, '11, 13:25

Eminememy wrote:Agree to working on structure, I liked your use of multis though! Flow was decent as well.

Feed?: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=124536

Thanks and done. :y:
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby Matt Holck » Sep 4th, '11, 16:43

when I was younger and with another,
we never bothered to look forward
we wander together fingers tethered
parks and levees explored
no need for dreams endured

I think here dream means something different than future plans
more as walking on clouds with another
NO WAR

pm me all deleted posts I make
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby Man1x » Sep 5th, '11, 06:32

Yo, writing shit is how some people vent. It's definitely better than killing yourself or what you do, lower others self esteem. And I came to ask you B. Nutz:http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=71&t=124677 ?
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Re: My Life...A True story

Postby BigBoss » Sep 5th, '11, 09:31

MrChow wrote:
Eminememy wrote:Yo, writing shit is how some people vent. It's definitely better than killing yourself or what you do, lower others self esteem. And I came to ask you B. Nutz:http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=71&t=124677 ?


Maybe he should confront the girl and tell her his feelings to her face but I understand he is awkward and isn't capable of talking to females.

:facepalm

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