The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Geno - Malcolm X

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby Sekou » Sep 10th, '11, 16:45

The flow on this one was phenomenal, although your rhyming wasn't up to what I've read in some of your other pieces.
Still a really nice piece :y:
User avatar
Sekou
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1085
Joined: Aug 31st, '10, 13:16
Gender: Male

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby SG. » Sep 10th, '11, 16:53

Flow was great, although the rhyming was kinda iffy.
Image
Menzo wrote:Lmao, you gotta love Zabe / SG...guy's so underrated.

StayWideAwake wrote:"Naturally handicapped, until proven intentionally retarded"
User avatar
SG.
The Watcher
The Watcher
 
Posts: 4794
Joined: Jul 21st, '11, 21:07
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby J.R. » Sep 10th, '11, 19:37

Rhyming isn't your level, but the flow is amazing. :y:
Image
User avatar
J.R.
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2045
Joined: May 8th, '11, 18:38
Gender: Male

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby Man1x » Sep 11th, '11, 01:41

Hey, the rhymes aren't your level like everyone said but you carried a good flow, it had a good story with imagery, and good structure. If this is a throwout I can't wait to see your best, good shit :y:

Feed?: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125229
#TeamK.Dot
#TeamYeezy
#TeamBigM
Image
User avatar
Man1x
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4980
Joined: May 27th, '11, 04:02

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby Man1x » Sep 11th, '11, 02:26

i didn't catch that pun, good shit there. What I mean when the rhymes are your level for some reason its harder to catch the transitions imo, might just be the way im reading it
#TeamK.Dot
#TeamYeezy
#TeamBigM
Image
User avatar
Man1x
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4980
Joined: May 27th, '11, 04:02

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby ChristinaE12 » Sep 11th, '11, 02:34

Good piece.. Different. But I think that is a good thing in this case.

I think most are saying the rhyming isn't your normal level because it is definitely a different type of rhyme scheme going on. It's not as easy to catch as I've typically seen from you.

Not much else really to say as most has already been done.
"If Life's a bitch and revenge is sweet... I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet."

Image
User avatar
ChristinaE12
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jun 4th, '10, 17:25
Location: Billings, MT
Gender: Female

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby EyeQ200 » Sep 12th, '11, 22:34

One of the best peices i've read here in a while, glad we have members here at CW such as you Geno :smoking:
I don't really understand the sub standard rhyming, i thought it was an all round solid peice in terms of rhyming, as someone said maybe it was the structure here, i liked the peice but can sort of tell it's a throw away (Still better than my best :whistle:)
Nice peice! :y:
Fuck a sig, i go accapella.
User avatar
EyeQ200
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 387
Joined: May 1st, '11, 19:43

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby Atone » Sep 13th, '11, 01:44

this is pretty dope, alot of multi syllabul rhyming in this in which i love
Image
User avatar
Atone
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4855
Joined: Jun 1st, '10, 08:47
Gender: Male

Re: Geno - Malcolm X

Postby RainMan44 » Sep 14th, '11, 22:55

Excuse me for the corny metaphor but, this shit flowed like a river tbh :shifty:
Flow was beautiful.

I actually caught that 'Geno' punch. Dope as fuck. :y:

The rhyming is still above average, don't see why some are saying it's not. You might've had better pieces, but this is still great. :y:



Mind feedin' some of mine? I just typed 2 different tracks (18 bars and Money Can't Make the Man...not completed)...feed whichever you'd like. Or you can be extra generous and feed both :smoking:


Just post a link to a piece of yours on them and I will return the favor afterwards haha
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




GOAT
Image
User avatar
RainMan44
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1093
Joined: Nov 21st, '10, 08:51
Location: CA
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users