Still Alive

[Man1x]

Eminememy: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125232
Wrecked: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125230&p=1752828#p1752828
B.Nutz: http://forum.trshady.com/?f=24&t=125229&p=1753247#p1753247
Hesky: http://forum.trshady.com/?f=24&t=124600&start=15
GameTheory: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125178&p=1753236#p1753236
Zabe: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125230&p=1752444#p1752444


Still Alive (feat. B.Nutz, GameTheory, Hesky, Wreck, Zabe) [Infamous - Track One] by Eminememy

Shout out to Zabe for the cover art


[Intro]

<Car speeding>
<Shooting>

[Verse 1 - Eminenemy]

You fuckers cannot exterminate me
As long as this strong heart permeates heat
I never could have peace, I strive for life
The puzzle's last piece that deprived me time
Arrived to my mind, you! You wanted me dead
Hiding my knife, coming to cut your head
Sighing from strife 'cause I was under fed
Hunger led, left this broken home for hope
Fucking treading, afraid I'll be shown alone
Snows of sorrow now lean me toward home
My gleaming face froze because suddenly
In front of me there was a bloody sea
Begrudgingly I picked up the one hugging me
They gunned down Elise. "Mommy! I wanted peace!
Please! Call the police!" The pain was cutting me
I crawled from the street, "Mom, I'm coming. PLEASE!"
Fuck the police, to my surprise they never arrived
Luck never chose me, I'm still alive, despising life
My deprived, sad mind thought of just one thing at this time
Pissed I'm only able sigh and fucking dream of the crime
Seems that I'm dying inside, my friend Wreck was shot too
I couldn't stop the bullet, It'd be like deflecting a bull

[Verse 2 - Wreck]

I'm still alive, but I feel shriveled inside, bitter, so cries come little time after time
I got the "proof" that "time a tell," so I mine as well live life & rhyme-with-pride
Feel like I'm trapped through breathing tubes, but still breathing, life's purpose serves a real meaning
Pills creeping inside mouths, while people hide out, drugged out, inside a steel precinct
Went through surgery after surgery, surgeons purging me of all these insecurities
Seizure bound, where's my freedom now? Will karma set in soon? Please confirm it to me.
Trapped in cages, blacked through pages, newspapers; news media twist the back pages perfectly
Aging certainly, mind's raging- cursing pleads, money distracts me, so fuck all currencies
I'm righting/writing my wrongs, this is a fighting song, biting all, of mankind, while I'm fighting y'all
Growing as a person; no height involved, depressing lives- obsessive wives, I'm enlightening y'all
Growth spurts- the hard blows hurt, but I still stick it out, like a wick on a dripped candle
Sick vandals, chick scandals, but I'm still standing here like a stiff camel

[Hook - Eminememy]

Fiction or reality
Picture a depiction of fallacies
What's the truth
What's the lie
I project a drunken cry
I fall over, slumped in lies
The product of corrupt lives
Do you feel the drum vibes?
Do you see the stark heat?
That's the power of my heart beat

[Whisper]

Tell them how I feel…..

[Verse 3 - B.Nutz]

For each scar another day I lived through,
A new start and every-time I miss you,
I realize I'm still alive and fail to go abysmal,
I focus down on my goal like I'm a missile,
So when I Beat you, Just know I barely Seeped through,
But now? I Defeat Dudes, Who can't even See you,
So every time you think you're gonna Be True,
Realize that alone i can win, I don't even Need you,
Go listen to Lose yourself, Defeat? You Ooze the smell,
Fools as well, come to my town to lose, Choose hotels,
Cause I'm Still Alive,Wanna win? You better Kill this guy
I'm what happens when Real combines with skill and fight,
I'm about to have total Victory, My flows are as quick as can be,
Your lame shit, Sickens thee, And I'm just sitting here Wishing He,
Could be godly, But oddly, You sought me out,
I remember it fondly, you thought you could bring me down?
You lost, so I'm the king, give ME the crown.

[Whisper]

Confort me…..

[Verse 4 - Hesky]

I know things are rough and you're hurt with fear
But try and persevere, divert the tears
Abundant bad luck, some say a curse is clear
& as far as times go it seems the worst are here
Psychologically you feel relentlessly pummelled
& you'll never see the light that's at the end of the tunnel
But you will; all of the sleep you're losing
Will be relief soon if you keep on moving

[Hook - Eminememy]

Fiction or reality
Picture a depiction of fallacies
What's the truth
What's the lie
I project a drunken cry
I fall over, slumped in lies
The product of corrupt lives
Do you feel the drum vibes?
Do you see the stark heat?
That's the power of my heart beat

[Interlude]

<Crying>

[Whisper]

Not taking y'alls shit any more…..

[Verse 5 - GameTheory]

With the help of the truthful god I've beaten all the odds
My life just passed fast, but I'm not deceased and not in walls
(Not) in machines and not in bars, I can eat and I can walk
I can sleep and wake alive, I think I owned a price of eight of lives
And I'm close to the nine's, I'm "bo-gus" defined
Was lonely and deprived, but I'm living it now, and I'm admitting that it was
Hard to handle, because of dark reactions
From me and other people, but I'm still alive, you bastards!

[Second Hook - Eminememy]

Now I'm glad to still be alive!
Not going go kill another guy!
Bitch, I'm happy to still be alive!
Oh, I'm happy to still be alive!

[Verse 6 - Zabe]

If you know me, you already know my story well
Zabe got fostered, his new home was a fiery hell
I couldn't predict what would happen after that
I got suspended from school for filming videos round the back
I didn't even think I would ever start writing these raps
But Em and Jay helped me to understand the crap
I do not have to deal with the pain and bullshit
There was a lever to turn things around, I pulled it
From then on, I was no longer a small depressed dick
I wasn't more bullied than an amnesiac dyslexic
Nostalgia is creeping into me now, but I've already been there
Got the t-shirt saying "Zabe's life was always shit, yeah!"
Somehow I managed to get past all the shit
When my dad and grandma died, I told Life I could master it
So yeah, I'm still alive, not time for me to die yet
My advice is when life brings you down, don't even break a sweat.........

[Mr.DGAF]

I'll be editing this post once I digest what everyone has dropped here, I'll go one by one with the verse, starting first with Eminememy.

Eminememy, solid verse. The rhyming, for me, started off a bit suspect at first. The first two lines were nice, liked the exterminate me, permeates heat rhyme, though the syllable count is one off because exterminate me is 5 syllables, while permeates heat is only 4. But the rhyming of Time and Life at the end of line 3 and 4 was a bit forced. But you picked it up with my favorite part of the peice:

In front of me there was a bloody sea
Begrudgingly I picked up the one hugging me
They gunned down Elise. "Mommy! I wanted peace!
Please! Call the police!" The pain was cutting me
I crawled from the street, "Mom, I'm coming. PLEASE!"

That was pretty awesome rhyming imo. There was plenty of multi-syllable rhyming and you stayed on topic throughout, a solid verse indeed.

Wreck, your verse was, rhyme was, my favorite. I'll have to read the piece a few times to decide which is my overall favorite, but I figured I'd feed it now while I have time. The structure is my only complaint with your verse. It flows well, but it's a bit difficult sometimes to read because of how long the lines are. However, it's not really a problem because on reading it again it flowed well enough. Your rhyming was, for real, off the hook on this one. Major props.

B.Nutz, your verse started off with some pretty good rhyming. I feel, however, that you kiled it in the last half of your verse.

Cause I'm Still Alive,Wanna win? You better Kill this guy
I'm what happens when Real combines with skill and fight,

Nice. It was creative and rhymed/flowed well, and epitomizes the theme of the peice.

Hesky, your verse is ridiculous. I keep going through each verse, and thinking that it is the best one. But then I read the next and have to think about whether or not it is. Your rhyming on this was bananas, really. It was just a little short, I really wanted more because it was really good.

Abundant bad luck, some say a curse is clear
& as far as times go it seems the worst are here

Awesome wording here, followed with a very nice rhyme scheme that you continued for four lines.



GameTheory, your verse started off really well with rhymes. Again, it was pretty short, so it I don't really have that much to go off of. But from what you have, it's pretty solid. The first 6 lines flowed and rhymed very well. However, I think your last two lines aren't that great. They don't rhyme very well unless you are pronouncing it with an accent.




Zabe, your verse is pretty good. The rhyming was a little simple, not much multi-syllable going on that I could see. But I'll read it over more and see if I missed some stuff. However, you did have one part that had really good wording and rhyming.

do not have to deal with the pain and bullshit
There was a lever to turn things around, I pulled it
From then on, I was no longer a small depressed dick
I wasn't more bullied than an amnesiac dyslexic

That was my favorite line of yours. Solid rhyming and creative, which I like.




I hope my feed is suffiecient. I tried to be as detailed as possible if I thought there was room to improve. Not trying to be harsh or anything, just trying to help, and I know my opinion may not be of that much importance seeing as how new I am. But at any rate, it was a good drop from all of you, with some serious bright spots from everyone involved.




Also, I really like the first hook. Not as big of a fan of the second one.

[Man1x]

Thanks for feed, and nah man it was great. You did better than most people that feed haha. Thanks for it, it was very detailed. Oh and the second hook was put together in a flash, really wasn't in the right mood to make it the mood it needed to be and be executed well

[Atone]

Record this, it looks like it would be Epic

[Man1x]

Bump

[SG.]

I need some time to digest.

[J.R.]

:o I need some time to digest.

Amazing, right?

[SG.]

yes, as yours should be.

[J.R.]

yes, as yours should be.

I am working on mine at the moment, should have it up later tonight, got a lot of shit to do.

[Man1x]

I liked all the verses but since it's my track I feel my review would be biased

[Wreck]

Thanks Em for the feed, appreciate it bro. Everybody went really hard on this, and were really good. We SHOULD record this. I would put it on a mixtape or on an album of mine.

[Wreck]

[quote="Eminememy"
[/quote]

Sick! Props for that pic Zabe, that's fucking ill.

Anyways though, proud of this shit all in all, all of us- h.a.m. style .

[Sam.]

Some critics .


Eminememy
Your one fast learner so imma tell you one thing that don't force multis ,if they don't fit what you are trying to say then let it be a single Syllable Rhyme Scheme .

Wreck
The structure my man again is the only thing wrong with your verse. The flows is okay if you record it,

Hesky
Pretty decent verse tbh ,keep writing .No criticism .
The structure was perfect.

GameTheory.
Fucking GOOD verse ,perfect .
Clever line here.

I can sleep and wake alive, I think I owned a price of eight of lives
And I'm close to the nine's, I'm "bo-gus" defined

Zabe
Creative verse man add some multis ,that would add more charm to your verse .

[Man1x]

B-U-M-P

[J.R.]

Good job, we all did good.

Dope cover, Zabe.