Geno - White Butterflies

[Sam.]

Emo shit right there .

That was a strong start to the song and very nice beat you used there ,
I must admit that you did a good gob with maintaining the emotion through out the verse and the rhyming was good ,only thhing is that last 5 lines seemed stretched as far as the concept is concerned .I am talking about the 1st verse BTW.

So I'm single now, and it's stupid to get tied down,
My music is the only thing my future's fuelin' right now,

The opening lines sounded better this way ,just a minor correction.

The 2nd verse wasn't Impressive as compared to the 1st one expect for a few lines but the underlying message was clear and that's important for this type of songs .I really thought after the dope 1st verse you would carry that same style of delivery in the second verse ..but it's fine .

[Man1x]

Good shit as always Geno, I real loved all the emotion. Verse 1 had the upper hand however. Good lyrics and flow, it was all dope. I think this might be your most natural song, it almost seems like your just talking in regular words, your nearly there.

[SG.]

Good stuff as always. Very personal and emotional, liked the hook as well. Verse 1 ws better than Verse 2 however.

[SG.]

Appreciate the feed, but could I get some overall feedback on the song?

I can see you're using different rhyme schemes than the normal AA, BB, etc. That makes it stand out from all the other pieces.

For the hook, I think you thought light = white, and as butterflies are friendly and delicate, they would create powerful imagery. You succeeded.

Some of your internals are a bit awkward (hint & midst)

Punches are good ("tunnel vision")

Return the feed? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=126371

[SG.]

That's the trouble with written pieces. An accent could make it sound completely different.

[Man1x]

When I do written pieces I try to normalize every sound so it can flow great to everyone but its hard to do so as it limits the word choice you got but that's the down side to written. Feed?: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=126370

[dannyx]

As posted above I usually find emo tracks annoying...
This is not an exception.
The flow may not be terrible but the lyrics are in no way impressive while the subject matter quickly gets dull.

[mdemaz]

Good looks bro.

I can relate to that girl shit man, music is all we got left.

[Sam.]

As posted above I usually find emo tracks annoying...
This is not an exception.
The flow may not be terrible but the lyrics are in no way impressive while the subject matter quickly gets dull.

Now I feel there could have been more feelings added to this .

[Sam.]

Did you guys even listen with the beat?

I bet no one did ,but my brother I did that's why I said in my last post to add more emotions like what you actually felt at that point because in situations like this lot's of thing cross the mind so...

[Words]

Note: This is really good, the tunnel vision punch was brilliant.

I liked that you were able to show that you really didn't have feelings for this person, but you didn't go overboard and be REALLY negative about your ex. (E.g "Puke"and "Kim" would be examples of going "overboard") You were able to keep it tasteful, without constantly wishing death to them every other line.

My whole world revolved around you like a center-piece,
From friend of me to enemy, trying every remedy,
I just couldn't let it be, although you offended me,
Those feelings now are dead to me, I'll just let 'em rest in peace,
I used to let it get to me, but now I couldn't give a shit,
Now my egos bigger than the distance that you split us with,

^ ^

As far as flow and lyrics, it was great. There were a lot of rhymes and it flowed really well throughout.

[RainMan44]

I just rapped this to the beat you put up, and it flowed effortlessly. I love the flow on this man. Dope


As for the verses/hook/multies...what can I say? You fucking nailed 'em as always.


I LOVED the hook. I enjoyed the first verse the most, though the 2nd was also fire.

"Those feelings now are dead to me, I'll just let 'em rest in peace,
I used to let it get to me, but now I couldn't give a shit,
Now my egos bigger than the distance that you split us with,
Claimin' that I missed the hint."

Mind feeding me? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=127043

[JamaicanPattlez]

Great job, some real shit right here, I can relate to it. I really like the hook too. Great job. Feedback? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=127310

[JamaicanPattlez]

Will do. Hey, me and Menzo have a written (for now) EP in the works. Thread in CWL if you're interested in seeing.

Gotcha, I'm definitely going to check that out.

[Mr.DGAF]

I really like this, man. The rhyming was top notch, as always. The ryhmes make it easy to flow with, and with the beat, it's pretty much perfect. As for the message, I get that it was some tough shit, and I liked that even though you kept it personal, the ryhming stayed on point.

Also, I haven't forgot about that collab we were gonna do, I've just really been working on my own stuff to further my writing. I'm still most definitely down to write it with you guys whenever you finish your EP if you want.