Freedom of Speech

[Mr.DGAF]

Been working on mutlies, felt like my recent works have lacked. Also tried a completely new rhyme scheme for me, don't know if it turned out well or not. Anyway, here it goes. FYI, it's pretty short, but didn't really have anything else to add. Might add on to it if I get inspiration.


In the constitution it says that we have freedom of speech
And they’re convoluted ideas make us heed what they teach
So the odd solution of this would be to clean up the streets
Feed us all delusions and jest, make us see what they mean
Then they say that we‘re the best, yet they beat up our dreams
And then instill the fear of stress, so we scheme that we’ll leave
But yet and still it’s here we nest, though we fiend to come clean
And bet we still endear the guest, while other people will cling
To the hopes of being united, though it seems that we breach
The contract of seeing the brightness and we need to all bring
All our blokes and then free the righteous, it ain’t easy it seems
And I won't bleed for this writing, it's just my freedom of speech


Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=128318

[Man1x]

Nice, you keep a consistant 4 multi syllable rhyme scheme, id keep it there until your amazing with that and then progress. And later this week check my Zabe diss...I slipped a lot of 3-4 sylable multis with a 10 syllable multi in the end on that shit

EDIT: Before anyone asks, yea I did catch his interal mutli, which was more amazing then the end multi tbh

[Mr.DGAF]

Nice, you keep a consistant 4 multi syllable rhyme scheme, id keep it there until your amazing with that and then progress. And later this week check my Zabe diss...I slipped a lot of 3-4 sylable multis with a 10 syllable multi in the end on that shit

Thanks, I tried to keep the same four syllable rhyme scheme for the end bars and use a different multi syllable rhyme internally and then switch that every four lines. I think the first four lines' internals were six syllables long. (Not bragging, because that's not impressive to most writers here, I'm kinda just saying it to make sure that I actually did that right haha.)

And dude, whoever wins between you and Zabe, I want in. Or I'll take whoever loses. It doesn't really matter, I just wanna start trying to get in on some battles with other new battlers so it's even ground.

[Man1x]

Nice, you keep a consistant 4 multi syllable rhyme scheme, id keep it there until your amazing with that and then progress. And later this week check my Zabe diss...I slipped a lot of 3-4 sylable multis with a 10 syllable multi in the end on that shit

Thanks, I tried to keep the same four syllable rhyme scheme for the end bars and use a different multi syllable rhyme internally and then switch that every four lines. I think the first four lines' internals were six syllables long. (Not bragging, because that's not impressive to most writers here, I'm kinda just saying it to make sure that I actually did that right haha.)

And dude, whoever wins between you and Zabe, I want in. Or I'll take whoever loses. It doesn't really matter, I just wanna start trying to get in on some battles with other new battlers so it's even ground.

Yea, I cought your internals. What I don't understand is why they better than than the end, I do it sometimes but I mean, unless that's just the way you like to roll. It doesn't really matter because some people can't pull of 2 syllables so it don't matter as long as you make it flow and get a message across. Also, my Zabe diss is my first battle so I'm hoping I'm good on it. And I'm coming out of my writers block so I hope it wins. The structure is pretty crap compared to what I've written in the past however.

[Mr.DGAF]

Nice, you keep a consistant 4 multi syllable rhyme scheme, id keep it there until your amazing with that and then progress. And later this week check my Zabe diss...I slipped a lot of 3-4 sylable multis with a 10 syllable multi in the end on that shit

Thanks, I tried to keep the same four syllable rhyme scheme for the end bars and use a different multi syllable rhyme internally and then switch that every four lines. I think the first four lines' internals were six syllables long. (Not bragging, because that's not impressive to most writers here, I'm kinda just saying it to make sure that I actually did that right haha.)

And dude, whoever wins between you and Zabe, I want in. Or I'll take whoever loses. It doesn't really matter, I just wanna start trying to get in on some battles with other new battlers so it's even ground.

Yea, I cought your internals. What I don't understand is why they better than than the end, I do it sometimes but I mean, unless that's just the way you like to roll. It doesn't really matter because some people can't pull of 2 syllables so it don't matter as long as you make it flow and get a message across. Also, my Zabe diss is my first battle so I'm hoping I'm good on it. And I'm coming out of my writers block so I hope it wins. The structure is pretty crap compared to what I've written in the past however.

Cool. And I did it on purpose for this piece, I wanted the internals to be more complex because I honestly feel, at least for me, that it's more difficult to pull off a solid multi syllable internal than it is to have a solid multi syllable external rhyme. And it's something I hadn't tried before, so I gave it a go.

And good luck getting out of that writer's block man. As long as you keep on trucking, you'll pull out of it. But yeah, that battle between you and Zabe should be pretty dope, I'm hoping you guys pull some crazy personal's on each other. It seems now-a-days that personals aren't really focused on as much. And it's all love and war between friends anyways, so I'm expecting you guys to spazz out.

[Man1x]

Funny you mention love and war ( it's the name of his lp) that's where I drew most my personals from. That and that he is from Ireland, don't know much about him tbh then he is a solid dude. Do you mind if you send my draft over to you for review, it's not done but second opinions always are good

[Mr.DGAF]

Funny you mention love and war ( it's the name of his lp) that's where I drew most my personals from. That and that he is from Ireland, don't know much about him tbh then he is a solid dude. Do you mind if you send my draft over to you for review, it's not done but second opinions always are good

Yeah man, go ahead and send it. I'll take a gander.