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[Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

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[Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby J.R. » Oct 23rd, '11, 00:35

Zabe LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132832
Geno LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132703
Nutz LOF: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=132848&p=1791384#p1791384

[Intro:]
Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you?


B.Nutz wrote:Dear Mirror, I'm depressed, Love is seeping and scarce,
Can you Hear her? She's all Weeping and scared,
Pain? I can Fear it, I been Sleeping aware,
Cause in my neighborhood, Shrieking is rare,
So B.Nutz, takes out his Bible to pray,
He stays up, He's always Alive and awake,
It seems his families just Striving for hate,
A decent life is what he's Trying to make,
He's Broke, Walks around stranded and hopeless,
"On Dope," Is what he's been Branded when he can't focus,
He's dead and hungry Inside, starving for a chance,
But This time, He's gonna be Carving up his plans,
He's going back to phase one, like a Restart,
He's torn as the days are gone, He's Tree bark,
He wants to leave, but he can't Afford to pay,
People look him in the eye, want out? The Doors the way,
Try to explain to him, how to Calculate,
Why this lame, couldn't get a Cow to mate,
And teach this kid, on How to rate,
The reason he gets A thousand hates?
They tell him to keep, his Head and his heart,
How he weeps, He done Fed it to sharks,
They spit it up, Fuckers Left it in shards,
Game over, he Pressed yes on restart..



[Chorus]
So..It doesn't matter what you people think,
Don't say I ain't beautiful.
Just because I can't pick myself up off the ground (Ohhh)
Don't say I ain't beautiful,
I'm hoping to drop dead right here and now (Sooo)
Don't say I ain't beautiful


Geno wrote:Body motionless...
Head to the desk, pen to my left,
Lead has been swapped with ink to my chest,
Sinkin' depressed, not thinkin' my best,
Simple in jest but it's never enough,
I've regretted to trust who said that it was,
Do you remember that promise? I kept it untouched,
But I think it's now time that I shredded it up.
Syllables lacking, fans upset,
Feelin' me slacking and can't come check,
I really need passion, cancer's next,
Silly me, hackin' and pantin', (dead),
So now I gotta ask, what's next, what's new?
I got a lotta tasks, one test, one rule,
I need a lotto max, much less, fun too,
Try to swallow that (one head's now two)
So I step to the mic, unleash the ego,
I'm performin' for like..just these three people,
Now tears to cheeks roll while I hone my chance,
As I slap the hands of my only fans



[Chorus]
So..It doesn't matter what you people think,
Don't say I ain't beautiful.
Just because I can't pick myself up off the ground (Ohhh)
Don't say I ain't beautiful,
I'm hoping to drop dead right here and now (Sooo)
Don't say I ain't beautiful


Zabe wrote:
You would buckle under the pressure of this stress
I'm trying to figure how I'll get out of this dump
While you're having sex with a wife and a mistress
I'm going home kissing homeless bums
So why would I try to impress you when I'm depressing myself?
The time I spend punching the wall is probably lessening my health
"Stop lying and start working, or you'll end up in a foster home!"
Guess you told me so, now my whole immediate family roster's gone
Now why would I sit back and watch the pity party start?
Guess for Zabe that life didn't turn turn out how he thought
I wanted to live at home, sitting on the PC playing MapleStory
Now I'm looking through time, in the TARDIS like Amy and Rory
Shoot me now, before I get more famous than all of you
I'm not allowed to win, because I don't suit the magnitude
Of being a winner because humility in this lifetime is critical
But no matter what the rest of you say, I know I'm beautiful


[Outro]
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Use it while you can man.
Stay strong.
Stay tough.
Stay hopeful.
Stay..Beautiful. (Ohhhh!)
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby Man1x » Oct 23rd, '11, 00:55

"Why this lame, couldn't get a Cow to mate"

hahaha that made me laugh.

Ight, I think Geno took flow and emotion. Zabe rhymes (not in terms of syllable count just word choice, Geno close behind on vocab imo), and B. Nutz took the depth catagory of this imo but you lacked behind the other two in technicalities, well not so much as rhymes but in flow, I didn't pick it up and, again, that might just be the way I'm reading it.

Ya'll were dope, but Geno made me depressed :'(
And Zabe I like the PC reference haha.
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby SG. » Oct 23rd, '11, 16:23

Errbody mad... dope.

Thanks Manîx.
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby Man1x » Oct 23rd, '11, 17:34

Your welcome, now feed my shit :angry:
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby Sam. » Oct 23rd, '11, 22:25

B.Nutz
Where was this part of you hiding man ? This is awesome ,1st piece where there was less cussing and thoughts put out properly. Good shit.No criticism.

This part was corny as fuck doe.

Why this lame, couldn't get a Cow to mate,
And teach this kid, on How to rate,
The reason he gets A thousand hates?


Geno
Dope.Technically this was dope,liked the full line Rhyming.Damn !this seems to be a trends of some sort.Don't overdue this brah,just saying.You're a vet know when it comes to writing now ,so no criticism would salvage you at this point.

Zabe
Good that you tried your hand at different Rhyme Scheme ,should have done that for the whole verse,was it that difficult.Liked the Emotion that you tried to convey here.Keep at it.Inner rhymes ???
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby Sam. » Oct 23rd, '11, 22:43

Geno wrote:Glad you liked it man. And what do you mean don't overdue it? Don't rhyme to the point where you sacrifice what you wanna say for the sake of the rhyme?

I never do that (anymore). :smoking:

I know what you're capable of doing ,buy now at least.Actually, I meant to write "overdo" there but by mistake I wrote "overdue".What I was trying to say was that full like Rhyming is cool but doing that in ever other verse seems redundant because all of a sudden everyone is doing it,nahimean ? :b:
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby Jdubem » Oct 24th, '11, 07:53

Good all around. Thought B. Nutz took it with the emotions. Genos told the clearest story and then had the full syllable rhyming at the end. Then Zabe impressed with clever lyrics and vocab.
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Re: [Bonus Track 2] I'm Beautiful Ft. Zabe & Geno

Postby J.R. » Dec 3rd, '11, 01:48

Just bumping this, because this is my favorite Collab I've done on this site, and minus a little feed it's mostly slept on.

I think this is a prime example of how inactive this section is getting.
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